It's not about me.

Beauty of Friendships

2011-11-22T01:35:00.002+08:00

Recently, I've been drinking deep into the friendships that I have.

I've never laid so bare in front of my friends with my character flaws and they have never come so clean with their weaknesses too. And yet, instead of contempt, true friends provide greater love and support. Lifting up one another in weakness, nudging each other up to a higher plane, pointing each other towards God.

Friends that I can safely say grew up with me. Friends whom I've loved or hurt and yet still love me to bits and care about me. And the reverse is true.

I'm so happy for friends. They are a real gift from God and I really cannot ask for more. =)

Conflicted. Fearful.

2011-11-18T23:33:00.003+08:00

Those are the two words that describe my emotions. Now, preparing for sabbath school I just can't focus on the message. All the KJV just glides pass my troubled mind.

Does God limit my life or does God enrich it?

What has be given me? What can I return to Him?

Where has my first love gone? Where is my passion to serve Him?

On one hand, I wanna live the fairytale dream of serving God in unknown lands and trusting in Him. On the other hand, there is this fear that I'm just building castles in the air and that very soon my bubble will be burst and I'll come to realise that I'm at a dead end.

Do you think God will really take care of everything? Do you think that He will equipped the called really?

Where has my faith gone?

Is it shaken and destroyed?

Where has my faith gone?

Satisfaction!

2011-11-18T15:06:00.000+08:00

<a href='http://video.xin.msn.com/watch/video/episode-8/1tns1r3e0?src=v5%3Ashare%3Apermalink&src=v5:embed::' target='_new' title='Episode 8' >Video: Episode 8</a>

Tangled

2011-11-07T00:41:00.001+08:00

When does fear turn to love?

Friends of your youth

2011-11-06T00:13:00.002+08:00

"Friends made in the days of your youth are more precious than any friend that you can make later in your life."

I was particularly intrigued by this statement made by an adult I spoke to today.

"Does it mean that it's not the number of year that you know each other, not the quality of the memories forged together that really matters but the time period in which you met and formed close friendships with that person?" I questioned.

"Yes", was the answer I got. "A friend that you've watched grow and change to become the person they are now. You witnessed their first times, their blunders, their maturing, their figuring out life, their achievements and their life played out in their fullness.

There is so much history. The bonds are so strong. Even if you guys move on to other places, when you meet again, it's just like old friends. The feeling never changes.

Even if someone becomes a CEO, greatest scientist, teacher, doctor, lawyer, journalist, trader, etcetra, none of that appears in your friendship. It's just old friends meeting old friends.

Friends you meet later on in your life, colleague, bosses, business partners, all come with a status. A friend that you form then is kind of different. Never the same feeling like old friends.

Treasure your old friends."

What words of wisdom from the wise.

Ministry - is it the way to go now?

2011-10-30T01:08:00.002+08:00

He said: "This girl should go into ministry."
She said: "She is!"

That's really heartening. =)

The positive feedback that I received today is really overwhelming and I really felt that I weren't the one that wrote this sermon. But God did. As I wrote, the words and ideas just flowed. As I typed out the words, I began to comprehend the beauty of the message that I'm punching in. It just seemed that a designer designed this message. It just all felt so God ordained and inspired. Happy.

The comment above was thus far the one that stuck to me because I'm at the crossroads of deciding whether dive right into ministry or try to glean some experience in a traditional job.

It's rather tempting to just try to build you career first before thinking of going into ministry since building your career takes time and it's better to start early. Especially when it seems that the doors to ministry will always stay wide open.

But time is running out! We've to save the world now! lol. It really depends on where God sees me fitting in and when He feels I'm ready to start the work. Whether there is really much to gain from working in the "outside world" in terms of benefiting my service for God.

This reminds of the verse that I read during fast.

Jesus said to them, “My food is to do the will of Him who sent Me, and to finish His work. (John 4:34)

I'm not caring about how the world or my relatives view me. I'm going to care about pleasing God and finishing the work.

Is God speaking to me?

2011-03-08T22:13:00.002+08:00

After going for umpteen mission trip, I knew I liked being a missionary.

Especially after watching an inspiring sermon about media missionary by David Gates. I wanted to be God instrument in bringing the gospel to the world through the voice of media.

Through university, I learnt the craft but now with graduation looming (not to mention, final year project crashing down), I came back to thinking about what I'm doing all these for. I explored two other volunteer stints - one in malaysia and another in Australia, but both seemed like they had enough hands, at the time I asked.

But God seems to be showing me the way. These two girls, the hanaway sisters seem to be God's lil' providential guidance to point me in a certain direction.

PAMAS is where they worked and somehow, things all clicked.

I just submitted my application!

Please pray for me!

By the grace of God.

2011-03-08T20:14:00.002+08:00

I will not be bitter.
I will not return an eye for an eye.

A sweet disposition that channels every other negative emotion only to sadness at worst.

By the grace of God.

Is the world coming to an end?

2011-02-27T14:57:00.006+08:00

It has been an eventful few weeks and lots of thoughts are just tumbling through my mind.

The most exciting one of all is all the hoohaa about the world coming to an end. As a child, when I first heard about the prophecies on Daniel and Revelation, it captured my imagination like a fantasy tale. The battle between good and evil. Tensions rising, fight or fend, war culminating in the world's final battle. But through this conflict and chaos, courage shines forth. Courage to stand for the right, courage in the face of fear, courage to trust in a God that you can't see or touch but have experienced.

But today, this fantasy tale of the events of the future seems to fast be turning into the present. In the bible, it mentioned that we will hear of "wars and rumors of war" (Matt 24:6), natural disasters will strike, treasures and wealth will become worthless.

It started with 9/11, where America, the world's superpower was punctured right at its main artery - the twin towers that kept much of the worlds dollar sign pumping. Then, tonnes of money were spilled on American's war on Iraq.

But what scared me the most is the chain reaction that triggered off Tunisia by just one man. This man was trying to make ends meet by setting up a little stall by the street but was stopped and bullied by the police. Desperate and despaired, he set himself on fire in protest and died. This sparked off an outcry and within hours thousands of protesters thronged the street revolting against an oppressive, corrupt regime. 219 died and President Ben Ali was ousted.

The example of how the protests had the power to bring down a dictator, catapulted the region's oppressed states into chaos. Within two weeks of street protests, Egypt's leader Mubarak was ousted.

Now, Libya is in turmoil. What tore my heart was Al Jazeera's footage on Friday of first a police station on fire. People burning a dummy figure and hanging it off the edges of a police station. Then the shocking footage of 20 dead men - police who refused to fire at protesters.

Just anytime now, we could hear of another leader backing down or streams of blood will continue to flow. Newspapers are speculating country would be next in the fight for freedom.

Fear is the word found not only on the lips of those in the middle east. The world is trembling as well. The strife in these oil rich countries is setting the world's oil supply on a plunge, which may lead to yet another financial crisis.

It just seems that things are not getting any better.

In the midst of these world events, last week, Kevin posed random question: "I heard President Obama will be the one to institute Sunday law." That took me by surprise.

As a journalism student, I've been keeping abreast of the happenings in the world but absorbed in a wholly different topic, I haven't given these world events much thought.

Shocked, I dug deep in to my past knowledge on bible prophecies and started recalling. The wars, the famine, the floods, the earthquakes, pushing government to their wits end and losing control. People demanding a better life and finding that it is humanly impossible to solve the world's problems. Corruption, climate change, war. It's all predicted in the bible. Could it be that the fantasy world that seemed so far away is the world that I'm living in now?

What lies ahead?

People searching for certainty in chaos turn to the divine for answers.

Will that lead to the union of church and state?

People wanting to come back to God.

Will that lead to instituting a day of worship for the world pay respects to one divine being?

My heart trembles.

But wait, I remember that in the demons and dragons fairytale that I heard as a child, there was a Savior and there were saints. Saints, who had no fear of the future, who stood for the right though the heavens fall because they trusted a Savior. A Savior who loved these saints supremely, who sheltered and protected them in chaos and and, just before the world caves in on them, He would come snatch them up into the clouds to be in his arms Him forever.

My heart trembles.

Not in fear.

But, in anticipation.

Because, I know that in the midst of uncertainty, I have a surety and that is a Savior, who loves me. Supremely.

Contemplating a decision of a lifetime.

2011-02-24T20:47:00.005+08:00

Just look at what this baby can do. *Drools*

Psalm 20

2011-02-15T21:46:00.001+08:00

To those going through a trying time in your life:

1 May the LORD answer you in the day of trouble;
May the name of the God of Jacob defend you;

2 May He send you help from the sanctuary,
And strengthen you out of Zion;

3 May He remember all your offerings,
And accept your burnt sacrifice. Selah

4 May He grant you according to your heart’s desire,
And fulfill all your purpose.

5 We will rejoice in your salvation,
And in the name of our God we will set up our banners!
May the LORD fulfill all your petitions.

6 Now I know that the LORD saves His anointed;
He will answer him from His holy heaven
With the saving strength of His right hand.

7 Some trust in chariots, and some in horses;
But we will remember the name of the LORD our God.

8 They have bowed down and fallen;
But we have risen and stand upright.

9 Save, LORD!
May the King answer us when we call.

FYP Vday Special

2011-02-15T09:56:00.003+08:00

Vday was pretty different yesterday.

We had an FYP meeting! Can you believe it? =P

It seems that work has overtaken special occasions in Singapore and I bet we're not the only ones.

Look, Singaporean are even taking fakations now - feeling apologetic that they are on holiday, these people bring work to do! (Glad I haven't taken a facation yet!)

But it was still a pretty fruitful time - deciding what stories to write, plus dismantling bouquets, receiving phone calls & visits, sharing snacks and so on. I'm glad that at least I'm doing this project with my closest pals.

Girls, we can get through this! Ganbatte!

Depressed?

2011-02-12T17:15:00.002+08:00

Today, we had an interesting lesson study on depression.

We learnt that depression is normal and happens to almost everyone at least once in their lives. That's no surprise because, in life, shit happens.

But how do we deal with it? Exercise was the main takeaway really. Exercise releases endorphins that make people feel happy. Endorphins gives you a sense of well-being. In other words, a happy sort of contentment.

Linguistically, the word "endorphin" can be broken up into "endo-" and "-orphin". These are short forms of the words endogenous and morphine. It is intended to mean "a morphine-like substance originating from within the body." To think that an endorphin rush can help us feel better.

Perhaps exercise can also help you take your mind off things that are troubling you. In a facebook status update of my friend C, she said: "I guess anger can be a gd thing sometimes - tt anger fueled my finishing 5 kliks in 25 mins." She channeled her fury into positive energy on a vigorous workout. Was that personal best, C?

I guess one important tip we've learnt today is choosing to lean on God when in dire straits. I think somehow we can sometimes be really hard on ourselves. Especially when things don't go the way we want them to - no matter how hard you try, no matter much you cry. Often the temptation is great to think real poorly of yourself, just quit and sink into depression. This is where God's promise is sure.

"and call on me in the day of trouble;
I will deliver you, and you will honor me.” - Psalms 50:15

Knowing that we have divine aid goes a long way in giving us the strength and confidence to carry on working hard on what we do despite the circumstance.

S&S were very right yesterday. When you stop praying, when you stop reading. That is when your life starts turning upside-down.

Pray to God in trust and He will fix it.

Our's not to question why.

2011-02-11T23:53:00.001+08:00

(I came across this phrase my childhood girlfriend shared on her blog.)

"It's impossible", said Pride.

"It's risky", said Experience.

"It's pointless", said Reason.

"Give it a try", whispered the Heart.

a Revamp Reverie

2011-02-11T23:42:00.002+08:00

Today, I just had the urge to revamp and revive the blog I've abandoned for over a year. Hope you guys like the new layout and the music.

Someone ever said that humans has the innate desire to share their lives with one another. I think some people just have a much stronger desire to express themselves. I be one.

Each component that you see here is a lil' piece of me. My life, my music, my friends, my rants, my reading diet & my pictures (when I get around to setting up a flicker account).

This is just the beginning. It only gets better.

Watch this space.

To Do List:

2010-03-06T21:13:00.003+08:00

To do List:
Run at Macritchi once a week
Picnic at Botanics in full picnic gear
Get a hair cut
Spend a day at MPH and buy a CD I Love
Work through my Improvisation on the Piano
Read a book by the beach under a big umbrella
Bike at Pulau Ubin

Who want's to join?

Wish list:
a nice camera
a nice camcorder
a driving license

Who wants to chip in?

LIVING FOR ETERNITY

2009-06-20T22:49:00.001+08:00

Inspired by Pastor Larry Dotson

Why do I do what I do for You, Lord?
Is it obligation or love?
Where do I place my hopes and dreams?
Is it here or in Heaven above?

Do I want to please You or man?
Where does my loyalty lie?
Am I living for eternity,
Or just living till I die?

Do I live my life in fear and guilt,
Trying hard to keep all the rules?
Or do I step out in faith every day
Knowing You will provide the tools?

Do I want to please You or man?
Where does my loyalty lie?
Am I living for eternity,
Or just living till I die?

Lord, I fall on my face in awe
At Your glory and righteousness;
Worshiping moment by moment
Giving all and nothing less.

I want to live to please You, Father.
In You my loyalty lies.
I want to live for eternity,
Not just live until I die.

Sandy Moffett
~ 2009
Sandy Moffett

Change of address

2009-01-23T08:19:00.001+08:00

HI I HAVE A NEW BLOG! ITS CALLED imadethisljtokpo@livejournal.com

see you there!

muacksZ!

What worse than finding a WORM in your orange?

2008-10-15T20:20:00.000+08:00

HALF A WORM!

pukes

VEGAN. For the People. For the Planet. For the Animals.

2008-07-28T15:22:00.000+08:00

I'm going to be vegan.

here's why...
http://www.nonviolenceunited.org/veganvideo.html

Emo hour

2008-05-01T16:31:00.002+08:00

Hi guys. i guess if you are reading this post right now its because you're really tooo bored (like me right now) because i haven't blogged for ages, its a wonder that any of my friends would still consider checking to see if I have uploaded any posts.

Well, some disclaimers. This post is NOT MEANT to make anyone feel bad or apologetic. Neither do i have any single person in mind as i was writing this post. (except of course my family).

If you would like to know, this is how i deal with my feeling. when I'm rather upset or very happy. i like to pen down (or type in this new age) my thoughts. Its really rather therapeutic and helps me to get things in perspective.

I always believe that any upsetting experience is a new learning experience, because each time something makes me upset, that something would be something i have never imagined being upset about. Because if i knew exactly what would make me upset, i would have anticipated it and wouldn't have let myself get upset. (you know how terrible it feels to get upset, so i alway avoid getting upset)

hence, i would pen down my thoughts after an upsetting experience and hence make sure i learn from it. so here goes:

emo hour one: may 1st, 2008

I realized today how much my happiness is dependent on others. Just because others forgot to inform me about a fun outing or basically assumed that I didn’t want to join or even perhaps it didn’t occur to them to invite me made me so sad and unhappy.

This is not Karen. Karen is always so self-assured and well liked by others. She’s always wanted around and desired. Now I know how it feels like to be one of those who are always left out of the group. How down and unwanted one can feel. I guess God gave me this experience so that I would understand how it feels like, to not be “in” the group or “in” the know of things.

Now I understand why some people can, not feel like coming to church or not feel like contributing and simply stay unhappy all the time. It is because they just feel under appreciated by the group or don’t feel that they are worth enough to be wanted around. With that feeling inside, its difficult to want to contribute or be cheered up although the people around them care so much and are trying so hard to help them. Very much the concept of self worth is based on how much others value you.

If people do not think you are important or of value or needed around, a person will probably grow up to feel unimportant, worthless and not good for anything.

Now I know how people can grow up to have such low esteem and be never able to break through their discouragement or depression. Its simply because they have never cultivated faith in themselves or there isn’t people around that person who simply believes that he/she can be successful either socially, academically or any area.

I realize now how important it is for someone to have someone who believes in him/her. How much it keeps another person going through all failures and disappointments.

Now I know how come people who are studying overseas or are alone in the world (E.G. orphans) usually very quickly get into relationships and how those relationships can really make or break them a lot. This is because when you feel like you’re all alone, having people step into your life and show confidence in you, have need for you or care for you really makes a lot of difference in your life. It suddenly becomes what you are living for and determines who you are.

Now I understand why some people can so easily succumb to peer pressure. This is because those friendships or relationships simply mean so much to them and they feel that it determines how much they are worth. Hence, they would do anything it takes to keep those relationships or friendships, for better or for worse.

I am so lucky to have parents that love me and believe in me. Who really makes sure I know how important I am to them and who makes sure that I know how much they love me all the time. Who are always there when I need them and whom I know exactly where I can find them when I need them. I guess that’s what’s keeping me through all the difficulties and pressures of life. I wouldn’t have been able to resist peer pressure through all my teenage years without the fear of losing my friends if I had not parents and family whom I knew loved me more than my friends would ever love me. Family whom I knew I could depend on more than any closest friend when I’m in need.

Where does God come in here? I guess God has blessed me with a happy family and good parents and thus have kept me out of harm’s way all this while. All that I could ever ask for and desire is a family like mine. =)

It seems that God is getting little credit for what I have today but no. I wouldn’t have such a happy family without God intervening in my parent’s lives. If not for the subtle guidance and cultivation of the character of my parents that makes them the loving parents they are, I could never have grown in such a happy family. Without the Christian principles that my parent’s abide by, bad habits and social ills would have infiltrated my family circle and destroyed the happiness of my family.

If not for the watch, care and protection that God has given my family, anything could have befallen and wrecked my family.

If not for the unconditional love that God has for my family and it having sprung up in our own hearts and overflowed to our relations with each other, we would never have learnt to love each other so.

It all boils down to this: all that I am, that I have and can ever hope to be lies in the fact that God loves me.

i guess its quite fun to read other's blogs. sure get to know what's going through their mind. the mysterious mind. hahha.

anyway, have a nice day!

love
karen

Karen as Youth Leader next year.

2007-11-03T18:06:00.000+08:00

Hi all. Usually I don't blog much as you can see, but suddenly i feel that communication is really important (ahem, maybe after taking Communication studies). I also realised that there are many parts of me that is simply hidden. or is it? *shrugs* usually i don't bother much about what the general people think of me, but now that i'm in the youth leadership i think its very important to let people know me more and better. Rather than be some vague skinny figure.

#1 thing to know about me is that i love God and want to make Him happy. So after i realised that God wants me to take on this leadership, (how i know is a different story which i will tell another time) I decided that i will do my best according to His will. How i find out God's will in the really functional aspects is usually through His prophet's writings.

This is what i've found:

Solemn Responsibility--Solemn are the responsibilities resting upon those who are called to act as leaders in the church of God today.--Acts of the Apostles, p. 92. {ChL 2.1}

Demands Measured by Influence--Heaven is watching to see how those occupying positions of influence fulfill their stewardship. The demands upon them as stewards are measured by the extent of their influence.--Gospel Workers, p. 495. {ChL 2.2}

Responsibility of Leadership No Child's Play--The position occupied by my husband is not an enviable one. It requires the closest attention, care, and mental labor. It requires the exercise of sound judgment and wisdom. It requires self-denial, a whole heart, and a firm will to push matters through. In that important position God will have a man to venture, to risk something; to move out firmly for the right, whatever may be the consequences; to battle against obstacles, and waver not, even though life be at stake.--Testimonies, Vol. 1, p. 320. {ChL 2.3}

I feel the pressure already but i know if it is His will then He'll teach me how.

BRATZ i love you guys. =)

Muggerful weekend turns into Wonderful weekend!

2007-09-09T19:29:00.000+08:00

After reading a very interesting article by Sumiko Tan on the Straits Time *yes lifestyle in the Reflect section* I got inspired to start writing my views online for the viewership of my friends.

Somehow my frontal lobe, where reason and rational, lies, is screaming "stop wasting your time and start mugging!" whereas my lower powers of desire and appetite, say, "if it feels good just do it". So I am here typing out my little takes on life in this little blogosphere for no apparent good reward other than enjoyment.

Evidently from the title, I have not been ideally spending time like a good university student would. Good university students spend majority of their time on school work and a lesser amount of time doing practically nothing. (oh no the struggle going on in my mind stated in the second paragraph is too strong! i can't concentrate on blogging!!!)
Incentive for blogging is too low. Cost is too high. Term paper, research paper, tutorials, readings, arggg. Incentive-driven me is taking hold!
Shucks!

i'm going to practice piano. To de-stress and yes, do nothing about the insurmountable workload.

Seriously, if this blog is going to be resurrected, it would mean two things: I am having holidays or I'm being paid to blog.

Meritocracy: A value taken-for-granted

2007-09-08T19:21:00.000+08:00

After some prompting, I decided that I'll practice Citizen Journalism and post my views that I put on my school's Discussion Board on my blog! Please feel free to express your views under "comments" just below the post! ENJOY!

Here is the question posed, just so you know what i'm talking about.
What do you think are Singapore's taken-for-granted beliefs and values? How do they influence journalism here? Are "citizen journalists" immune from such influence? Your views, please!

I think that meritocracy is the value most taken for granted in Singapore. During a conversation with a younger friend (psst! It’s Ming Sheng!), we were unearthing the "deep issues of life". After some probing on my part, this sentence came out of my younger counterpart, "I want to be The best. I don't want to just be the best that I can be". To me, that is indeed shocking news to me. Apparently, being the best that you can be is not enough. Not in an environment where only the "best of the best" gets the limelight and second best is a much detested seat.

Meritocracy in its nature of giving its awardee the due reward for what he/she has achieved is seen as the most fair and just rule invented in our society. However, insidiously, it has actually set a certain psychology in our youth that is highly detrimental to, in essence, their happiness. In a society where a person's worth is measured by ability, youths being the best that they can be and yet still miss the mark at being the best or even mediocre can be highly detrimental to a their emotional well-being its destructive effects stretches even to mature adulthood. Since only there are limited spaces in the “best” category, the citizens of Singapore often on an endless pursuit of being The best and often never being “good enough”. Singaporean nurtured well by meritocracy grow into adulthood enter the rat race and pursue a far fetched nirvana often reached only by a small group of individuals namely, the elite.

I am not saying that meritocracy is BAD and should be abolished totally. Neither am I saying that rewards should not be unearned or gained through underhand means. However, I believe that because meritocracy have so many benefits that been taken for granted so long so much so that we have failed to correct and qualify its claims on society and are not aware of its pitfalls. This brings me to my next point.

Another mindset that meritocracy played a great role in creating is Kaisuism. Typing in Kiasu in Wikipedia, I obtained these findings. "Growing up with this attitude (Kiasuism), these students often become ambitious businesspeople, with the desire to be on top in wealth and prestige regardless of whether the most prestigious careers are aligned with their true capabilities." Another definition of Kiasuim broadcasted by NewsRadio 93.8 is (paraphrased): Seeking for the upperhand at the expense of courtesy. Evidently, the messages meritocracy is sending out is, "if the best that you can be (your true capabilities) is not enough still go and fight for it, tooth and nail, discarding courtesy if need be, because in this society, what is recognised is your ability."

Taking this argument further, I believe that the focus on raw ability and talent breeds elitism. The sentiment expressed by my young friend indeed is a verbal expression of elitism. Evidently, to him, being The best is of utmost importance and anything that falls below that is not worth noticing. This sentiment is shared by numerous if not numberless Singaporeans. “Who got top for PSLE? Who won the most prestigious scholarship?” These questions consistently hit the headlines and become the talk of the town after each annual release of results.

Elitism rampant in society; Kiasuism as our nation's identity. Singapore has fallen into the pitfall of meritocracy due to unchecked advocacy. I believe that meritocracy is not the sole contributor to elitism and Kiasuism, however, I think that the overemphasis of meritocracy and the lack of accrediting virtues such as courtesy or kindness or self-sacrifice played a big role in nurturing such attitudes. Perhaps, the government should have more courtesy campaigns and news reporters give more airtime to good deeds rather than Singapore's next top technopreneur.

It is needless to say that the journalism in Singapore has contributed in large way to advocating meritocracy. Meritocracy being one of our nation's core values and the way journalism in Singapore is seen with the responsibility of nation building, obviously journalism would be trumpeting meritocracy. Whether or not, at the same time addressing these pitfalls… evidence speak for itself.

Citizen journalism which magnifies the views of a common citizen to the general public would certainly reflect these attitudes, knowingly or unknowingly. One such example is that of a minister's daughter who expressed in her blog highly elitist views and welcomed the censure of society. I think the issue of whether national values will influence citizen journalism is an issue that does not need much debate. Because, like it or not, national values shape policies and policies are enforced by laws. Hence, citizens will be influenced by them since they are compelled to adhere to them. Moreover, media in Singapore being the government's persuasive mouthpiece of national values would in many extents shape the thoughts of the citizen.

I am weak but thou art strong.

2007-08-26T20:59:00.000+08:00

Its a long journey to the end of my studies.
Ideals ideals ideals. Things have their way.

I'm on the road to self-discovery and i'm realizing my fragility and reliance.
i need God and Jesus to give me what I need.

I am sinful and needy. I am nothing without God.
Sometimes i lose sight of God and begin to see myself as i really am.
Dependant. Weak. Insecure. Full of defects.

Busyness steals away time from God.
I need the connection. I need assurance. I need to claim the promises of God.

Dear God.

i am helpless and weak. If I can't draw close to you, please draw near to me.
I want to be your faithful servant. Don't let me stray from you.
Do anything. Do everything, even things that I wouldn't like at that moment,
Just make sure I am faithful and loyal to you all my life.
Listen to this prayer and please ignore any other contrary prayers that I may make.
I want to be yours and yours alone. I want to follow every word you say.
i want to live the life you want me to live, the way you want me to live it.
Jesus, please take over. I submit my everything to you.
Once more till forevermore.

In Jesus name
Amen.

2007-07-27T10:43:00.000+08:00

ARgg. i'm such a IT noob! i guess i'll just have to settle for a default template.

Quote1

2007-06-29T17:07:00.000+08:00

Quote of the Day:
Staying pure in a corrupt world.

I love my life. =)

My greatest Envy

2007-04-23T16:19:00.000+08:00

I realised that I have just broken one of the ten commandments.

Thou Shalt Not Covet.

I covet. I covet the passion that others have. I covet the decisiveness and direction that others have. I covet, I covet.

Without a passion and without a direction, i realised that i cannot prepare myself for the area that i want to enter. Simply because i do not know which area i want to enter. I cannot tell people, "oh i would like to be a doctor/journalist/lawyer, and i have done blah and blah to prepare myself for it."

Being unprepared and undecided is not a nice feeling. Not a very appealing situation to be in.

I know one thing. I know that I want to serve God in His work. Period. How? I don't know. Where? I don't know. When? I can start now if He tells me what i can do. I have two pairs of hands and a normal brain. I'm not the nicest person neither am i the most talented. I wonder what He sees in me.

Uncertainty is very upsetting, but i have to learn to trust. Learn to have faith in the Almighty who cares. Phew. God please give me peace and faith in You.

Being confident of this very thing, that he which hath begun a good work in
you will perform it until the day of Jesus Christ:
Phil 1:6 KJV

Will you only just look at Him?

2007-04-23T08:10:00.000+08:00

Mind, Character and Personality
Pg 343

"Something Better" - The law of true living
... When once the gaze is fixed upon Him (God), the life finds its center.
The enthusiasm, the generous devotion, the passionate ardor, of the youth find
here their true object. Duty becomes a delight and sacrifice a pleasure. To
honor Christ, to become like Him, to work for Him, is the life's highest
ambition and its greatest joy.

Often in our lives we look at things other than God. We look at the materialistic rather than things that are of eternal importance. Food, clothes, people, money, fame and fortune insidiously dominate our minds. Oh, how many even desire to place their eyes on God?

If only people look unto the Supreme Being for direction, for guidance and for correction, will they find navigating through this chaotic world unchallenging. We are like a magnetic compass. Worldly pursuits and cares of the world are like magnets. When these magnets are brought close to the compass of our hearts, our needle will deviate away from the true North towards it. If we do not throw away the superficial for the supreme, we will never find the Right Direction.

If only we focus on God. By reading His Words, by praying to Him regularly and unceasingly and by including Him into every activity of your day will we find that we have a true object. The enthusiasm, generous devotion and passionate ardor of our youth will have a truly worthwhile aim. If all we see is Christ, the tedious and mundane things in life become a delight. Looking at how Christ perfectly did every duty He had and knowing that the host of heaven is watching your deeds, doing faithfully your honest part will give you satisfaction beyond measure. Even responsibilities that you feel will crush you under its pressure will give you joy. Even if you resent having such duties, you will obtain happiness doing it. Only if you look to Christ.

One very touching thing that was said was that all heaven thought that it would be too great a sacrifice for Jesus, which is God, to become an angel. What more an infinite God to become a finite man? Our human minds may not comprehend this. Yet, Jesus said He felt that it was a honor for Him to make this sacrifice for men. Mind-blowing? If we truly understand how much the King of Kings and Lord of Lords had to give up to save us, there will be no sacrifice too great and no self-denial too demanding to make for our savior. But to give up something for the God I love would be my pleasure and privilege.

Friend if only we cast our eyes upon Jesus, the Author and Finisher of our faith then "to honor Christ, to become like Him, to work for Him, (would be) the life's highest ambition and its greatest joy."

Will you only just look at Him?

Colporteuring week!

2007-04-13T17:23:00.000+08:00

Yo my dearest friends who still care to read my stagnant blog.

new update!

I'll be going for an entire week of selling Christian Literature( sun to fri)
Its gonna be like this.

morning wakey at 5 plus for usual devotion.
7 morning duty.
8 group devotion/ heart preparation for colporteuring
8.30 breakfast
9.30 leave for colporteuring

10 DOOR TO DOOR selling books
2.30 lunch
3.30 continue selling books
7.30 Back to Aenon

THAT IS LIKE 8 HOURS OF SELLING BOOKS!!

For the first two days we go in pairs, so we get to rest while the other talk cause we take turns to talk.

The other four days, we'll be going individually. means, no rest time, no one to help you when you're tongue tied, no one to pray for you while you're speaking. my heart trembles in anticipation. I better prepare myself veri well for this vigorous week. Must spend more time in devotion and prayer, so that i'll have more things to share with people i meet about Jesus and God. So EXCITED REALLY.

Recently, i heard Mark Finley's sermon and the 7 reasons for evangelism. WOW. it's powerful man. Hey, Calvin Tampubolon if you're reading this its good to screen the sermon in during those S-A-R ( Sit-And-Rot) sabbath afternoon hours. ( if not, tell him to read this!)

ANYWAY.

PLEASE PRAY FOR A REVIVAL IN OUR SINGAPORE SDA CHURCHES!!

WE NEED PRAYER!!

Giving God my 100%

2007-03-21T13:46:00.000+08:00

Alright i wanna share this with everyone not just my darling constance.
This is small section of our MSN CONVERSATION

Giving God my 100%

Love them like Jesus says:and tell me more on the alter call!
Girl looking for an Adventure! says:HAHA!
Girl looking for an Adventure! says:welll
Girl looking for an Adventure! says:i was talking to many adults about my lack of direction
Girl looking for an Adventure! says:and after they all see how lost i am
Girl looking for an Adventure! says:i'll always end off with this
Girl looking for an Adventure! says:"you know
Girl looking for an Adventure! says:many adults in chuch like to ask
Girl looking for an Adventure! says:why don't the youth be more active and participate more in church and organised more meetings etc etc
Girl looking for an Adventure! says:then i asked the adult
Girl looking for an Adventure! says:why doesn't the adults also do the same?
Girl looking for an Adventure! says:then the lady said cos adults we're veri busy
Girl looking for an Adventure! says:we have to work
Girl looking for an Adventure! says:we have to take care of our families
Girl looking for an Adventure! says:we don't have time to ourselves sometimes!!
Love them like Jesus says:uh huh
Girl looking for an Adventure! says:but you youth have more time
Girl looking for an Adventure! says:then i was like huh
Girl looking for an Adventure! says:if being a adult gives you so many responsibilities that i don't have time to do as much God's work that my heart cries out for then i better rethink the path that many people head towards.
Girl looking for an Adventure! says:so this have been bugging me
Girl looking for an Adventure! says:tilll last week i totally didn't think about it alreadi
Girl looking for an Adventure! says:then sudden the altar call
Girl looking for an Adventure! says:the speaker said it was special and that it wasn't for everyone
Girl looking for an Adventure! says:only for those who want to give themselves 100% to do God's work
Girl looking for an Adventure! says:who see how satan have been building up His empire and has many clever plans
Girl looking for an Adventure! says:and decide that the ARMY OR GOD NEEDS MORE WORKERSGirl looking for an Adventure! says:MORE FULL TIME WORKERS
Girl looking for an Adventure! says:GOD IS CALLING YOU
Girl looking for an Adventure! says:( and he pointed at the audience)
Girl looking for an Adventure! says:constance i was so shocked
Girl looking for an Adventure! says:he spoke the exact words that i repeated to everyone
Girl looking for an Adventure! says:which is "i donno my talents. i donno my burden. i dunno what is my direction. i'm very lost. but what i know for sure is that what ever i do. I want to do it for God and i want to give Him my 100%"
Girl looking for an Adventure! says:My heart was pounding
Girl looking for an Adventure! says:and i cannot hold back my tears
Girl looking for an Adventure! says:its SO CLEAR!
Girl looking for an Adventure! says:GOD WANTS ME TO DO HIS WORK FULLTIME
Girl looking for an Adventure! says:AND I KNOW I WANT TO TOO!
Girl looking for an Adventure! says:you should have been there at the talk
Girl looking for an Adventure! says:i wished everyone i knew was there to witness this
Girl looking for an Adventure! says:and to see how well planned the Devil is for the last final battle at the last days
Girl looking for an Adventure! says:before Jesus comes!
Girl looking for an Adventure! says:we have to study bible together and i can tell you all about it!

What color is your parachute?

2007-03-21T12:52:00.000+08:00

Hi my dearest friends!

Wow its been long since i've updated.
I just went through a VERY BUSY AYC and now there sooo much work to be done for God still!!!

The latest and most eventful update in my life thus far is that i just answered an altar call to give my life for His full time ministry. I don't know where or how i'll serve Him with 100% of my time and energies but i have the heart to do so. I know that this calling is really God's purpose for me because the words the speaker used in his appeal was the words that i have been uttering to many various people i was seeking counsel during my quest for God's purpose in my life. The speaker spoke the sentiments of my heart and cenverted it to a call. I NEVER KNEW GOD COULD BE SO REAL! (btw this is very brief you can ask me personally i'll be very glad to tell you about it.)

Also, i just did an exercise in the book "what color is your parachute?" and its about "what is my best transferable skill"

This is what i ended up with.

what is my best/favourite transferable skill

Top five

1. communicating well in conversation, in person or on the phone

2. initiating, starting up, founding, or establishing

3. teaching, training or designing educational events

4. persuading, motivation, recruiting or selling to individuals

5. Advising, coaching, counselling, mentoring, empowering

So these are the skills that i love to use. i wonder what occupation i'll end up in.

HAHA!

Two elements of character

2007-03-06T08:54:00.000+08:00

This is a very inpirational passage so i thought to share it with my close ones.

Strength of character consists of two things-power of will and power of
self-control. Many youth mistake strong, uncontrolled passion for strength of
character, but the truth is that he who is mastered by his passions is a weak
man. The real greattness and nobility of the man is measured by the power of the
feelings that he subdues, not by the power of the feelings that subdue him. The
strongest man is he who, while sensitive to abuse, will yet restrain passion and
forgive his enemies. Such men are true heros.

Pictures taken at Aenon!! (first month)

2007-02-20T17:02:00.000+08:00

All these pictures were taken on Linus's camera.

A typical conversation which leads to a picture being taken is :
K:Wah so nice if we can take a picture right now.

K: (hollaring at the top of her voice) LINUS YOUR CAMERA PLEEEESE!!
We are the forest princesses!~!

This is so farnie, i wanted to let my brother see this on Kah Yee's webcam but too bad he wasn't online!

Sheau juin - my first guinea pig for hot foot bath ( whoopss sorry sheau juin i dun mean to say that you have any resemblens to pig. I think.)
Yeah, red pail contains really nice and warm HOT water and blue scoop contain ICY COLD WATER!!! *shrieks*

I MISS YOU GUYS!

2007-02-06T13:46:00.000+08:00

alright. i need to admit tht i'm missing you guys alreadi.

i can't wait for CNY and to spend time wif you guys. Although i'm loving my life here. i equally love you guys!

can't have the best of both worlds aye?

here in aenon, i learnt to be humble. There are many instances where i got tempted to boast about myself and what i can do. but each time i bit my tongue. i guess the Holy Spirit prompted me and warned me.

Here there are personal devotion and then group devotion where there'll be a speaker. In this time, the more spiritual adults share much wisdom about how to improve character. Group dynamics and many other personal development kindda things. Things that no textbook or self-help book can teach. =) i'm so glad i came here. here, i truely learn how to BE A PROPER PERSON.

one thing i realised is that when someone else starts boasting, your next natural reaction would be to compare with yourself and say something like "i oso can!" or "what's so great about that?!". you know the sort. well, i number of times i almost did blurt those two phrases out, but in my heart is whispered a prayer and confessed of my deceitful heart to God. and God did reward me for keeping a check of my pride.

The things i could have boasted about i didn't, i got appreciation for my small god given talent without me parading it. I'm going to be humble and meek. Truely, whatever battles that you go through in your heart. don't think that y ou're alone fighting against temptation. God sees your heart. What i unseen in this world in heaven is proclaimed.

Christianity in ACTION

2007-01-31T19:21:00.000+08:00

Here is Aenon, is where i learnt what i means to be patient and caring.

There other day i was trying to convince my Father that we as christians can become perfect with the help of God. Though he helped me to see that theoretically (biblically), we are able to become perfect but practically, we aren't able to determine if we're perfect. Tough to understand? The key sentence he said was that, "how do you know if you're perfect? You've never experienced perfection, hence even if you've attained perfection, you wouldn't know that you have because you don't know what it means to BE PERFECT!" (Paraphrased) (if you don't get it, maybe the next few paragraphs can help you to understand.)

It suddenly dawned upon me that what my father said was right.

I will just focus on patience.

I didn't know what it means to be patient until i saw patience in action. I used to think that being patient is not complaining when someone is late for an appointment. Wait till you hear this...

Scenario 1
this person was supposed to do duty as everyone is but he keeps skiving. When brought to the task, he refused to do work and keep asking to be let off. The work supervisor got into a looking-intently-eye-to-eye mode but kept her smile. I voiced my thoughts "How can you behave in this way?"

A normal reaction for the work supervisor would be a sharp reprimandation.

Guess what she took him by the arm and brought him to do his task. when she came back, he went to skive again. She left her things and went around the whole place looking for him. brought him to his work (which was wiping window stills and then washing the cloth and repeat - but it never got to repeat before he was off) This happened three times! Wow, this LADY is patient man! Her fruit of the spirit is patience.

For me i would have lost my patience, gotten irritated and imposed on him my expection with a tart " how can you behave this way?!".
Truely, this place has people reflecting God's image.

Later i told her that she is the most patient person i have ever met in my entire 19 years of my life.

I told my mommy this incident and she said that God is also like this worksupervisor (mei Xing jie = sister beautiful star according to Zi xian). He will not scold us when we falter but always patiently come after us, like wooing us back to His side into obedience to His will.

He will never get tired or impatient.

He is my God.

(ahh! study time! Continue about "caring" another day!)

take care!

Sorrow in Heaven

2007-01-22T21:02:00.000+08:00

Sorrow in Heaven

I did not know my Savior sorrowed yet.

I thought His tears were spent long years ago

When, by the sepulcher with human woe;

or when in agony of grief He mourned

Because His people had despised their King;

Or when, on Calv'ry hill, in blood and shame,

He hung, an outcast from the universe-

Made sin for us, the One who knew no sin-

And hearing chastisement for every man,

The vengeance of eternal Justice bore

Against the vile and hideous monster, Sin.

So costly was the remedy for sin,

All heaven was emptied in one priceless Gift.

God gave Himself in Christ, to save mankind,

And by the symbol of the cross revealed

The sorrow that had broken His great heart.

For, as in agony a mother sees

The silent chill of death embrace her child,

So Love Eternal mournes a dying world,

And grieves the loss of every human soul.

And as a father calls a wayward son

And follows him through sorrow and through shame,

So Pity Infinite doth follow us,

Imploring us to seek our Father's home.

I did not know that there was grief in heaven.

I thought that gladness filled each angel heart,

That rapture wakened every song they sang,

And every heart responded to a joy

Unknown to mortals. Ah! I did not know

The sorrow that they felt, the yearning love,

For those who have not seen their glorious home-

The home they long to share with weary souls

Who little heed their beckoning to come

Where greed and selfishness can find no place.

But now i know their only joy to be

The cry for pardon from some sin-sick soul.

'Tis then, and only then, they touch their harps

And fill all heav'n with thankful, gladsome song,

Because the One whom they adore and love

Died not in wain for a rebellious world.

And now i know the only healing balm

For those deep wounds my sins so oft have probed

Are tears of penitence that often flow,

And praises that awake in other hearts

The vibrant chords of sorrow and of love.

And so, dear Saviour, may I share with Thee

Thy sorrow for the ruin sin hath made;

And may I work as Thou shalt show me how

To life the burden Thou hast borne so long,

And gather in Thy lost ones to the fold,

And hasten that glad day when there shall be

No sin, no curse, nor memory of wrong--

That day when Thou shalt be well satisfied

For all the pain and travail of Thy soul.

-Ella M. Robinson

I CAN"T BELIEVE IT RAINED AGAIN!

2007-01-18T19:27:00.002+08:00

rain means two things.
One good and one bad.

Good first. Mean there is a chance we don't have to do physical exertion at agriculture that day.
(ya although i wanna learn more about growing plants sometime the body rebels)

Bad. OUR CLOTHES WILL GET WET!!!

Today, i brought my clothes in and out TWICE! so tiring can. Thank God its friday. it'll be the end of my four day work week. teehee. tml we'll probably go door to door to give out pamphlets promoting the aenon one dollar set lunch. or abt national sunday law or (hopefully) colportaring (selling Christian literature).

HOPEFULLY it will not rain tml!!! otherwise all our plans will be twarted. because of the RAIN i didn't manage to buy 3 Ringgit second hand skirts for doing housework! sian. I need skirts.

Apparently two of my tee shirts didn't meet the Criteria. so i'm like short of tees as well. Just have to wash more often. BUT ITS RAINING!!!

i'm definitely gonna become a domestic goddess after 6 mths and at mission trips i'll be the most popular girls.

why am i starting to blather?

i'm quite free now. actually i shouldn't be. i'm supposed to be stardeeing now... opps. better go read genesis!!!

SEE YOU GUYS MY DEAR FriANds in one week's time! Phew! time flies!!

i love you guys!

Achievement for the week

2007-01-14T20:54:00.000+08:00

Life at Aenon so far...

2 jan -4th jan getting used to the timetable
5 jan - really inspiring sundown worship about Christ VERY SOON coming.
First Sabbath - Malacca church
*Malacca church is really cosy consisting of like 70 percent aenon people!
Sundown was by the beach with the wind in your hair and sun setting on your left. Absolutely FABULOUS.
Special Prayer meeting for Senior aenon student (we prayed for 0.5 hours. when i smsed my dad aboout it, he thought i meant 5 HOURS~!)
7 Jan - Morning duty then stardeed for SAT then JUSCO here i come!
(I had like 10 daily items i needed to buy eg.detergent etc. THANK GOD linus was there and he help to go hunt for my items!!! WE ONLY HAD 45 MINS!)

k i'll just write more interesting things i did k

tues 9 jan - we dug earth for planting
thurs 11 jan - PLANTED PASSION FRUITS!
( i never realised that the earth had so MANY EARTHWORMS-such interesting creatures realli- and we chanced upon TWO CENTIPEDES the poisonous ones. AND Jia Yi hacked them to death with a spade. *faints*)
Friday 12 JAn - The First time i witness Eutrophication
( We were sent to clear the stagnent drain surrounding Aenon. The drain had algae densely covering it. There were leeches and tadpoles and ants, but i was prepared dressed in my farming clothes and boots, i had immunity! =P it was so fun! I felt so achieved when i could understand the apply what i learnt in Chemistry about water and eutrophication! =P we also chatted alot - 3 girls, 2 STRONG boys and Teacher cannie. I found out that one of the Boys lived in SABAH and HAD A REALLY BEEYOOTEEFOO PLANTATION of durians, rambutans, lookoo, mangosteen and etc. I was thinking that i can go to his house to visit when i go backpacking around ASIA wif Sheena and others that wanna go too. k sheena~! got plan alreadi!)
Saturday 13 Jan
Performed "in God's love" song in church with all other junior students.
(this is Samuel's fave song which he calls "thank you Jesus" )
Had Choir practice in the Aenon Choir. Those going to AYC(agape youth Camp) will hear us!

Sun 14 JAn (TODAY)
Prepared breakfast with Jia Yi and Linus and others.
Stardeed in the morning
Lunch and ironed clothes
Kindda slacked till now.

K! it's bed time! i'm looking forward to the coming week~!

i'll be back in singapore on 25th leaving Aenon at 2 so see you guys then~!

Love you all my fans!!

Take care!

TODAY's PREPARATION DAY = FREE TIME (sorta.)

2007-01-05T17:05:00.000+08:00

hi MY FANS! (yearh reading this makes you my fan. TOO LATE CAN"T GO BACK ON IT!)

Life at Aenon is good. mind will be on God most of the time. show you guys my timetable.

5.30 - 5.45 Arrive in classroom
5.45 - 6.30 Personal Devotion
7.00 - 8.00 Working time (means doing housework. LARGE SCALE HOUSE WORK)
8.00 - 8.50 Breakfast
8.50 - 9.30 Group Devotion (like sabbath school. but four days a weeks)
9.40 - 1.15 Classes
(i'm currently learning fundamentals of christian faith, Righteousness by Faith and hydrotherapy)
1.15 - 2.00 Lunch
2.00 - 3.15 Working time
4.00 - 6.15 Farming (Yesterday i separate tree roots from the dug soil)
6.15 - 6.45 Supper (Dinner la)
7.30 - 9.00 Self Study (Also reading Christian literature. =P)
9.00 - 9.30 SLEEEPING TIME!

I'm going to night market soon!
ANYWAY. this time table is for mon to thurs. Friday is preparation day so we do chores in the morning and afternoon we clean our own rooms. but since there's 6 girls per room alot of things to be done still. I just hand wash this week's clothes!

Pple ask me if i'm used to everything like food, cramped room, chores and all. i said it's fine.
this thing that i found hardest to cope with is the dislocation from all my family and friends. =) emotional brat.

I LOVE YOU GUYS!

keep close to God k? cos i am too. i dunno wanna feel so different from you guys when i come back.

Karen

I MISS MY FRIENDS!

2007-01-02T19:21:00.000+08:00

Hi DARLINGS!

i just finished cutting tree branches and weeding. Tiring!! but FUN!
today, Dr lee's wife talked to us about HOW NATURE CAN BRING YOU CLOSER TO GOD. like an environment for meditation on God's word. She said that she's going to tell us
1. how agriculture is the ABC of education.
2. how agriculture is CHARACTER BUILDING.

interesting. i wonder how she's going to prove herself. =)
Today i realized that David fam uses 2 king 5 to prove a lot of things about MEDICAL MISSIONARY. like how we must be humble (how Elijah humbled captain naaman.) how we should not be greedy, near the end of the chapter. how we should be like essentially. I feel that David draws parallels with Prophet Elijah and his school as himself and aenon. HAHA.

Today i spoke with David fam's sister. she was asking about my future course, in uni.
apparently everyone knows i just took my A levels. I told her wad i told you about how adults have no time to do God's work cos they're too busy working. she said its a very crucial time now for me as i'm going to make very important decisions in my life.
Basically, she said that we cannot serve God and Mammon. Once we decide to earn all the money we need first and then serve God later. Often people end up not serving God at all! She said that people who give their lives to God often are poor but they have everything they need as God will take care of them. Hardship will be undergone but it's a part of refining one's character.

May be she's trying to get me to study in Aenon full time i dunno. but what i took out of it is that if i were to choose a future career for myself, it has to be one where i will serve God through it 100% as well. She said w/o God as your main focus. Life will become really empty and it will be hard to be contented.

ps. Please pray that i'll be able to find my llife's purpose during the time i'm in AENON.

Thanks!

First Day

2007-01-02T08:50:00.000+08:00

Hi Everyone i'm currently in MALACCA AENON HEALTH FARM!

I just spent my day yesterday doing devotion,
had bible classes in the morning which is more spiritually than academic,
then I LIKE TOTALLY CLEANED THE FLOOR
( with those plastic brooms with soap and water. Partner: Zi Xian)

Then i used pruning sisscors( donno how to spell) and cut dead plants. ( I WISH I BROUGHT MY CAMERA) i need to show you like before and after!

ANYWAY, my time is up!

I'm doing alot of FUN STUFF! but T-I-R-I-N-G!

Ciao!!! love you guys. time for group devotion!

take care!

2006-12-18T20:44:00.000+08:00

The Right person at the wrong time is the wrong person.
Sigh.

LIBERATION - Mosquitoes don't wanna drink virus infected blood

2006-11-25T16:47:00.000+08:00

I feel Bulimic.

After eating, I puke my food out.

This first time I vomited was when I was just a kid. After a full meal of durians, my aunties tested the strength of my will. They offered me nice smelling LOBSTER CRACKERS the size of MY thumb. (What a amazingly small piece!) Yet, a few hours later my tummy churned and i vomited my dinner, breakfast and lunch onto the floor, leaving a trail of puke all the way from the main gate to the toilet. I could almost hear the voice of God thundering, " You shall not eat unclean meat". ( Leviticus 11)
At least i didn't digest the lobster cracker.

The SECOND TIME was last night. Man, my hands and feet were freezing cold but my body is like an oven. I continuously rubbed my feet together and put my hands on my abnormally warm neck. It was terrible. Imagine doing that for two hours, till finally I decided to take Paracetamol ( A Drug!!!). That was when i puked and puked and puked till my tummy seems sunken in. I remember the bio lessons. Puke has a very disgusting taste because of the Concentrated hydrochloric acid. Well, the vomit exited through three entrances. My nostrils burned.

Last night I had a fitful night. I slept about three hours and my fever went down. I thought i was fine by morning but apparently my stomach starts expelling whatever I put in it. I think i'm going to grow so thin that i'll disappear.

BUUurrrr....

2006-11-09T22:23:00.000+08:00

Some people slogg like dogs.
They become like slaves with no freedom.
No personal time. No personal leisure.
But at the end of it all.
They become heros.
Reaping the rewards of their hardwork.

(Here am I championing hardwork, but wait till I put things into practice.)

2006-11-08T21:01:00.000+08:00

A LEVELS!!! (hyperventilating)

Essentials to being a Christian - Being Meek when ANTAGONISED!

2006-09-21T15:38:00.000+08:00

OKAY GUYS, this is easy to say and read, but to actually do it once. ie. to keep your cool, hold ur indignation and carry out the following in bold is no easy task. It'll get easier over time (hopefully).

BUT HEY, whoever has done it, CAN TELL ME. I'll have alot of respect for you. =)

[one way to get into Karen's good books!]

Far-reaching Effects of Influence
We may never know until the judgment the influence of a kind, considerate
course of action to the inconsistent, the unreasonable, and unworthy.
( How to turn the other cheek and why)
If after a course of provocation and injustice on their part, you treat them as you would an innocent person, you even take pains to show them special acts of kindness, then you have acted the part of a Christian; and they become surprised and ashamed,
and see their course of action and meanness more clearly than if you plainly
stated their aggravated acts to rebuke them

Ps. Remember to pray for Strength!

True Love

2006-08-09T21:33:00.000+08:00

Okay Guys, another topic of interest to most young people.

Definition of love:
Love is a precious gift, which we receive from Jesus. Pure and holy affection is not a feeling, but a principle.( Love is a principle!)

Those who are actuated by true love are neither unreasonable nor blind. (So, to those people who thought they've been blind in their love before. *ahem* Sorry to tell you, that wasn't TRUE LOVE to begin with!) Taught by the Holy Spirit, they love God supremely, and their neighbor as themselves.

We are all getting married eventually. Hopefully.
Let those who are contemplating marriage weigh every sentiment and watch every development of character in the one with whom they think to unite their life destiny. Let every step toward a marriage alliance be characterized by modesty, simplicity, sincerity, and an earnest purpose to please and honor God. Marriage affects the after life both in this world and in the world to come. A sincere Christian will make no plans that God cannot approve.

Seeking Counsel
If you are blessed with God-fearing parents, seek counsel of them. Open to them your hopes and plans, learn the lessons which their life experiences have taught, and you will be saved many a heartache. Above all, make Christ your counselor. Study His word with prayer.

Girls: What Type of Guy to choose
Under such guidance let a young woman accept as a life companion only one who possesses pure, manly traits of character, one who is diligent, aspiring, and honest, one who loves and fears God.

Guys: What Type of Girl to choose
Let a young man seek one to stand by his side who is fitted to bear her share of life's burdens, one whose influence will ennoble and refine him, and who will make him happy in her love.

- Messages to Young People- Page 435

The Youth's favourite amusements

2006-07-14T22:42:00.000+08:00

Hi Friends! These few paragraphs are like WOAh! You may have heard of such things before or you may not have, but definately its worth your time. Denial or acceptance is very personal. Some can just choose not to read, as Shannon usually says "God can't fault you for your ignorance" (not exact words). *Shrugs* Don't be scared la. =P

Card Playing

Card-playing should be prohibited. The associations and tendencies are dangerous. . . . There is nothing in such amusements beneficial to soul or body. There is nothing to strengthen the intellect, nothing to store it with valuable ideas for future use. The conversation is often upon trivial and degrading subjects. . . .

Expertness in handling cards often leads to a desire to put this knowledge and tact to some use for personal benefit. A small sum is staked, and then a larger, until a thirst for gaming is acquired, which leads to certain ruin. How many has this pernicious amusement led to every sinful practice, to poverty, to prison, to murder, and to the gallows! And yet many parents do not see the terrible gulf of ruin that is yawning for our youth.

The Theatres

Among the most dangerous resorts for pleasure is the theater. Instead of being a school for morality and virtue, as is so often claimed, it is the very hotbed of immorality. Vicious habits and sinful propensities are strengthened and confirmed by these entertainments. Low songs, lewd gestures, expressions, and attitudes, deprave the imagination and debase the morals. Every youth who habitually attends such exhibitions will be corrupted in principle. There is no influence in our land more powerful to poison the imagination, to destroy religious impressions, and to blunt the relish for tranquil pleasures and sober realities of life, than theatrical amusements.

The love for these scenes increases with every indulgence, as the desire for intoxicating drink strengthens with its use. The only safe course is to shun the theater, the circus, and every other questionable place of amusement.

There are modes of recreation which are highly beneficial to both body and mind. An enlightened, discriminating mind will find abundant means for entertainment and diversion, from sources not only innocent, but instructive. Recreation in the open air, the contemplation of the works of God in nature, will be of the highest benefit.

--"Testimonies for the Church," Vol. 4, pp. 651-653 .

- Also in Messages to Young People Pg 380

Opportunity

2006-07-02T11:55:00.000+08:00

by Edward Sill

This i beheld, or dreamed it in a dream: -
There spread a cloud of dust along a plain;
And underneath the cloud. or in it, raged
A furious battle, and men yelled, and swords
Shocked upon swords and shields. A Prince banner
Wavering, then staggered backward, hemmed by foes.
A craven hung along the battle's edge,
And thought, "Had I a sword of keener steel -
That blue blade that the king's son bears, - but this
Blunt thing!" He snapped and flung it from his hand,
And lowering crept away and left the field.
Then came the King's son, wounded, sore bestead,
And weaponless, and saw the broken sword,
Hilt buried in the dry and trodden sand,
And ran and snatched it, and with a battle shout
Lifted afresh he hewed his enemy down,
And saved a great cause that heroic day.

This imagery leaves a deep impression in my mind

Breathe hard.

2006-06-26T18:57:00.000+08:00

I'm going to start a workout shedule. I only found out this year that a person's supposed to exercise 5 times a week!

hmm, so i'm going to work towards that. I realise how weak i am. This month, each time i try to mug, i immediately feel extraordinarily tired and sleepy. I was SUPPOSED to be studying really hard this month but apparently i'm too weak physically and hence mentally to study hard.

Excuses? I dun think so.

Anyway, now is the beginning of the fun. =)

Messages to Young People

2006-06-13T14:55:00.000+08:00

Are you a believer? How are you different from Children of the World?

"Wherefore gird up the loins of your mind, be sober, and hope to the end for the grace that is to be brought unto you at the revelation of Jesus Christ; as obedient children, not fashioning yourselves according to the former lusts in your ignorance: but as He which hath called you is holy, so be ye holy in all manner of conversation." 1 Pet. 1:13-15.

"For the grace of God that bringeth salvation hath appeared to all men, teaching us that, denying ungodliness and worldly lusts, we should live soberly, righteously, and godly, in this present world; looking for that blessed hope, and the glorious appearing of the great God and our Saviour Jesus Christ; who gave Himself for us, that He might redeem us from all iniquity, and purify unto Himself a peculiar people, zealous of good works." Titus 2:11-14.-- "Counsels to Teachers, Parents, and Students," pp. 325-330

Home Alone

2006-05-11T22:17:00.000+08:00

Today's a milestone in my life. It's the first time in my life I'm spending the night alone. My parents are out of town and my Brother is out partying somewhere. I know for some others, they may have been spending their nights alone from a tender age. Well, eighteen is rather tender ain't it? I suppose my parents believe that i'm old enough and hence are assured enough to leave me home alone. (though for my dad, rather reluctantly.)

I thought little of it at first, but now at this time when i'm all alone, "Home Alone", the comedy flashes into my head. But then, how can i defeat a burgler if he enters my HDB flat? *fingers tremble* When my Brother left the house in the evening, a sinking feeling overcame my stomache and the song "Don't wanna wake up alone anymore~" plays in my head. Over-reacting? That was definately involuntery.

Now i suddenly understand why my friend would let a guy stay over at her place when the family is not around. They would stay up all night playing computer games with each other. It sure beats being all alone at home at night. As sleeping time comes, sheer desperation to find security in having someone around becomes overpowering. Or maybe just talking with someone on the phone to give an illusion of having someone within proximity offers scant comfort. Better than nothing.

I guess I'm still a baby. Very much shielded emotionally. So much so, that falling asleep without someone in the house, is a daunting task.

How do you know that you're in love?

2006-04-14T20:06:00.000+08:00

There are simply some people in your life that you can never forget. Not as in forgotten forget, but people that would always revisit your mind over and over again. For many others, the phrase "out of sight, out of mind" applies.

These special people are the kind that no matter how long ago you have last seen them, the latest, like all other memories of them, never seem to wane. Even, after many days parting you and that person, memories shared do not come rushing into you mind. Simply because they have never left your mind.

I guess this if the defining factor. You would know if its true love if that person sticks like super-glue in your mind after a long long time of separation without fading one inch and not only that, he/she is still the same long after.

CA this week!

2006-04-04T21:58:00.000+08:00

BUSY! Time to take my studies seriously.

China's new stance

2006-04-02T21:04:00.000+08:00

The direction that the political leaders are taking or trying to take is somewhat surprising. It would occur to many the motives behind China's radical swerve from communism to confucianism. Is the leaders in China really trying to imbue the teachings of confucius to fill up the moral vacuum or is there an ulterior motive? I would be noteworthy that not only does the teachings of confucius advocate high moral standards, it also comprises of teachings such as obedience to authority. China, renowned for rampant corruption in the government, it would further prove my case that this new approach taken by the government is highly suspected to be for personal gain.

In addition, it is easy to doubt the ability of the government to propagate their cause. Confucianism, as all other religions, are afterall working with matters of beliefs and values. It is undoubtly that the government may have an overall influence over the people, however, the extent of their influence may be questionable since beliefs and values often vary greatly or subtly from person to person. Moveover, in my personal opinion, i feel that the leaders of China should begin implementing the teachings of confucius through leading by example. Perhaps, they can start by remedying "pervasive official corruption" which "Confucius famously warned, delegitimizes rulers.".

Reflection

2006-03-29T22:29:00.001+08:00

Daily the whole world receives blessing from God. Every drop of rain, every
ray of light shed on our unthankful race, every leaf and flower and fruit,
testifies to God's long forbearance and His great love.
And what returns are made to the great Giver? How are men treating the
claims of God? To whom are the masses of mankind giving the service of their
lives? They are serving mammon. Wealth, position, pleasure in the world, is
their aim. Wealth is gained by robbery, not of man only, but of God. Men are
using His gifts to gratify their selfishness. Everything they can grasp
is
made to minister to their greed and their love to selfish pleasure.
The sin of the world today is the sin that brought destruction upon Israel.
Ingratitude to God, the neglect of opportunities and blessings, the selfish
appropriation of God's gifts-these were comprised in the sin that brought
wrath
upon Israel. They are bringing ruin upon the world
today.

Christ Object Lessons, Page 130

Homosexuality becoming popular?

2006-03-23T18:24:00.001+08:00

I never imagined that anyone could enjoy watching homosexuals in play. Even subtly. However, I was surprised to know that the mainstream movie from South Korea, "The King and the Clown" became the biggest hit film in Korean history (12 million out of the 47million in S. Korea watched this movie). This film features homosexual characters that urges it's viewers to put the show ahead of sexual politics.

From the very response of the viewership of the movie, it is evident that the people in S. Korea whose culture and history is comparatively conservative, are becoming increasingly open to concepts that deviate from traditional values. This advancement may be applauded as this shows that the people have an interest in evolving values and are more aware of homosexuality.

However, it must be noted that this may cause slide effect as youths who have yet to be exposed to this new form of sexuality may get confused with their gender roles. For continuous exposure to anything may cause people to deem that which is anomalous to be the norm. Parents who are not well equiped to cope with this new concept may not be able to guide their impressionable youths appropriately. As they too is estranged from the concept of homosexuality.

Hence, youths and new generation adults may embrace this concept and cause an erosion of traditional family units. For as Eve was entranced by strange yet enticing forbidden fruit, a foreign alternative to normal relationship structure would be the focus of much curiosity.

In my personal point of view, i feel that the climax of a relationship is indeed marriage and procreation. Hence, simply judging by the fact that homosexuals are unable to naturally enjoy this priviledge, they are just not meant for each other. Hence, on the grounds that disappointment in this area is evident and the general disapproval by society toward homosexuals are widespread, i feel that unnessary pain and tribulation would be apprehended. Therefore, society should match the exposure of the public to homosexuality with equivalent education in this issue as well.

Politics? What's that?

2006-03-22T22:18:00.000+08:00

Today's post is going to be really short.

With the upcoming preparations for the general elections, it amazes me to see the desperation of the opposition and the measured preparation of the current political party.

Personally, i am a supporter of the PAP. I may have been influenced by propaganda, but in my view, the PAP has done a good job in governing a country. Their parenting-style of government may have produced a new generation of laid-back group of young people and often critisized, dependent people without much opinion. However, noticed that this characteristic is a result of a well-assured people who trust the government to handle matters of the country. With this knowledge, it takes great pride for me to say that the welfare of a vast majority of Singaporeans is so well taken care of that the result is so marked.

To those people who look upon my words with disdain and feel strongly that all people should have a more significant concern with local politics, perhaps you are right. As people, we ought to be more aware of the things that are going around you and especially those that concern you. This problem is not a significant one, for when these young people take part in their first voting session (hopefully there's one) they will feel more involved and pay more attention to the political situation in Singapore.

Coffee Prices

2006-03-21T21:13:00.000+08:00

I just made my very first attempt to use the linguistic side of my brain.

I just read a very serious article on coffee prices on the straits times. At a glance, i found it really quite ridiculous. It says that if two companies selling the same product come together and make an agreement to increase their prices, they would have broken the law. It's called price-fixing.

According to the article, the rationale of the law is to ensure that there is competition in the market. Competition will be the incentive for competing companies to "provide better value, quality and service" to the consumers. This is in accordance with Singapore's laissez-faire system. Hence, businessmen are all not allow to discuss prices or even to recommend prices.

Undoubltly, restriction can be made interest of a capitalist economy, however, how is such a restriction to be enforced? The self interest have caused the meaning of perfect obedience far-fetched. Businesses thrive under the dominion of shrewd men. How long can the hands of law stretch?

Admirable is the thought given to maintain the supposed order of things, but attempts to enforce are meager. Nevertheless, laws are there to create a benchmark for an ideal society, but less than ideal people often reap imperfect results.

Snippets

2006-03-20T20:28:00.000+08:00

I realised that the reason i hardly blog, is that whenever i think of something to blog about, i always have second thoughts about it. More often than not, i decide not to blog because I'm afraid of the ill-effects that my words can have or the fact that it may affect the people around me. So, only when i think of something that is totally undisputable, then perhaps you'll see it in this space.

Considering how desolated my blog has become and how terrible my GP grades are becoming, i have decided to blog regularly on current affairs. Obviously i will attempt to sound intelligent, but i have to admit that i do not really know anything significant to begin with. Nevertheless, i will open my views to the mockery of others. Maybe after (or midst) this project, i'll put more personal yet still morally sensitive posts online.

Hopely as i write my blather online, i can write more sensible and matured essays in the future.

Hence, friends of mine who are so full of faith that i'll post. Thank you so much for always dropping by.

The Kampong

2005-12-23T00:45:00.000+08:00

How was it like?
It was heaven.

Happy children all around,
harmony abound.
Friends have become family,
though we did not marry.

We all gave our might.
It was worthwhile.

We left our footprint there,
tell everyone we care.
Strangers have become sons,
City and kampong become one.

We witnessed for God.
It was real fun.

We taught and played,
all for one date.
All to meet and have similar days,
to interact in similar ways.
In heaven,
memories do not fade.

We sang and preached
to our hearts content.
All we did was be ourselves.
Made a difference
never did we know
till the love we received we received.

We were willing and we were changed.
Young hearts given to Christ,
Were moulded and shaped.
Purer and more loving, we became.

Unbreakable bonds between us,
were made.
Knowingly or unknowingly,
the experience we had,
has tied us together.
To form something no one else can share.

It is my earnest prayer.
That God will seal our hearts.
That no one can tear down,
the firm foundation God has built up.
We all cherish and remember,
the things we've gone through together.
For as often as we fart,
we will think of the jokes of Sarawak,
and sudden fondness will fill our heart.

How much is your blog worth?

2005-11-28T20:49:00.000+08:00

My blog is worth $7,339.02.
How'>http://www.business-opportunities.biz/projects/how-much-is-your-blog-worth/">How much is your blog worth?

The greatest thing on this earth is to love and be loved in return.

2005-11-22T02:34:00.000+08:00

Even though i haven't been attached before. I have to say that i have fallen in love before. Or at least thought i have. Well, i have to say that,ultimately, there will only be one person in which you will love and be loved in return then successfull y marry. Well, if your love is unrequited. I'm sorry. For some falling in love is easy and for others it takes alot of time for it to happen. Either case, I believe God has one special person planned for everyone of us. He will reveal that person to you very evidently in His time. Now, our duty is to patiently wait and enjoy the Gift of singlehood that He has given to us.

Consistency

2005-11-21T23:33:00.000+08:00

There's a great advantage in being consistent. Consistence in behavior, consistence in values, consistence in speech and consistence is attitude.

Being consistent in your behaviour actually assures another that the person they are with now is actually who he is and not someone else. Some people are two-faced. They behave differently with different groups of people. For example, these people feel a need to behave in a manner that is most appreciated in that group and hence change their usual mode of behavior. I am sure many of us have encountered situations which causes us to feel a need to speak or perhaps walk in a certain way to please others. Perhaps you have not, or just maybe you were not aware of it. I noticed that this can be because of discontentment with what is characteristic of yourself or even feelings of inadequacy. Not to worry, i as a teenager often meet with such situations for identity crisis often strikes a person such as i. However, i have seen much value in being consistent in behavior. Ever took the time to notice the people closest to you? They surely have some gestures or even the choice of word that are unique to them. Maybe it's the way they blink or change sitting position. Anything! Whenever you see those gestures or hear those often-heard words, a warm gust of familiarity hits you. You may not be aware of how consistency of a person leads to familiarity and sometimes (if that behavior is a good one) to lead to fondness of a person in your heart and mind, but give it time and it does.

However a person can also be very consistent in bad behavior. This may be due to attitude problems or for seeking attention. This kind of consistency is either creates decided disdain from some or draws people of similitude together. ( like in superhero films, the evil duo etcetra)

A noble aspect to being consistent is consistency in values. Values, of couse, is good values. ( If there is such a thing as bad values.) If a person holds certain values for himself or herself and manages to maintain these values in their person. They will not only be held in high regard and would be also become a role model for others. However, remaining firm in your values is a high calling which takes alot of self-discipline and sacrifice to maintain. This is also a reason why a person which is consistent or rooted in their value systems is often greatly respected.

Many say that the words you say often reflected what your mind thinks and what your heart feels. However if a person is not consistant in what they say. It can show that they are actually quite confused about their true feelings or they are just confused. Otherwise, if a person is not consistant in what they tell you, if can also mean that they are not telling you the truth, because liars often forget their lies. If it's the former, then it's puzzling. If it's the latter, then you should be wondering if you should believe anything the person says at all. Hence, i conclude that consistency in speech is important in getting people to understand and even listen to you.

I have to admit that this last consistancy that i will be talking about today, is the most challenging to me and i reckon to many. I am talking about the consistency in good attitude. However, a consistently suspicious attitude is not difficult to maintain in this evil world that we live in, but it is not simple task to keep a consistently good attitude toward everyone and all the time. For many a times, attitude towards a person or a situation is greatly influenced by mood or state of mind. Attitude towards people is more complicated, as prejudice of your own, or even gossips, often has a sure footing. You may decide to hold the I-will-give-everyone-a-chance attitude but preconceived ideas and tides personal likes and dislikes can come is varying currents, swaying your attitude toward certain people to different degrees. I am sure it is justifiable for people to actually have different attitudes towards different people for it is like a action-reaction concept. For example, a tactful and open person would cause you to reciprocate and be less on the defence, in turn your attitude towards that person would be better as compared to another person that is brash.

However, I would like to present to you a more noble idea. If a person can actually maintain a consistant goodwill to everyone regardless race, language or religion. Regardless of social status, background or looks. Regardless of any other factor, but just because he or she is a fellow human being. That would gain my uttermost respect. I would say to be able to acheive that takes self-assurance and a conscious effort. I have to confess, this noble idea is not my own but i learnt it from Someone. Heard of " love your neighbour as yourself"? This simple sentence has a wealth of teachings. Firstly, "Love" speaks of your attitude and behavior. Secondly, "as yourself" speaks of the extent of your attitude. "Your neighbour" speaks about who you are to have this attitude towards and it refers to the people around you. Everyone that you encounter. Time factor is not mentioned here, but if you "love you neighbour as yourself when you feel like it." It certainly isn't being consistent in your attitude. Acheiving this looks rather impossible, but Someone have attained it and (yes, you've guessed it!) it's our creator. You might say that God's not human and so it's easier for Him to love everyone. Well, but you've to admit that we humans are not a very lovable lot. Moreover, considering the fact that He can read our mind means that even our wicked thought he can see. Yet He still loves us all the time.

There is also much incentive to gain in being consistent in a attitude of love to everyone. That is that you will be respected and definately Be Loved by everyone or at least be liked. You will also gain many friends and good friends at that. Moreover, "love is the ony thing that can be divided and never diminished." So you will never run out of love. In fact, your capacity to love would grow as you give. Hence, your relationships and friendships will be very fulfilling.

Consistency cannot be attained overnight and is something that takes time and conscious effort to be able to actually cultivate. Just like any other quality like kindess or courtesy. But consistency is particularly tricky, as it includes a broader spectrum of factors and qualities. However, i believe that it is a goal worth working toward. Do not forget though, if you believe in God Almighty, to ask Him to help you step by step towards your goal. In that, by drawing from His strength and wisdom, it would be easier to attain consistency is these four aspects. Those who don't believe in God, the Author and Creator of all things, you can try with your effort alone. It's worth respecting and i wish you all the best at it. =)

Insights into life.

2005-11-18T16:30:00.000+08:00

chew on this..

At the end, only two things really matter to a man, regardless of who he is, and they are the affection and understanding of his
family. Anything and everything else he creates are insubstantial. They are ships given over to the mercy of the winds and tides of prejudice, but the family is an everlasting anchorage, a quiet harbour where a man's ships can be left to swing to the moorings of pride and loyalty.

Admiral Richard Byrd

- Written on his deathbed -

How does the moon reflect light from the sun?

2005-11-06T00:13:00.001+08:00

(continued..)Have you ever met someone like that? Honestly, i haven't. For i haven't met Jesus in person. I guess it takes a believing heart and a huge amount of faith to believe that someone no one you know have seen or heard exists. Well, let's just say, even if Jesus is a a fabric of someone's imagination, i would still to believe that Jesus is a real person. Why? because, without this hope and light in a gloomy world like this, how meaningless living would be! Without constantly knowing that you are loved and heard by Jesus, how easy it would be to sink in despair!Some people busy themselves with their lives so much that they do not think about what's next. Dust still returns to dust. Your possessions will become someone else's after you die. You pass away, the people around you pass away and soon you're forgotten. I guess this is the reason why kings after kings look for ways to extend life, so that using time they can enjoy and possess as much as they can, because once they die, all that they have done will soon be forgotten in time.

Ever wondered how light reflects from the moon?

2005-11-06T00:12:00.000+08:00

Last night's moon was really pretty. Ever noticed when you look at the moon, that even though it is oppressed by the darkness around it, it has this region of illumination around it? It seems to me that the moon is very much like a Christian in this dark dark world. If you just throw a frisbee, you'll see many imperfect and weak people. Every where and everything of this world is in it deteriorated state.How then can we people regain our former strength and glory? Strength in morality and glory in character? Where is the lighthouse in which we can direct our focus and energies to? They always say, when lost at sea look for a lighthouse for that's where safety is. The only hope through these surging waters is for a glimpse of light through the dark waters. Well, now as i look all around me. It seems that there are many lost people wandering around. Including me. How will the blind lead the blind? I can only look to Jesus as my model. For He's the only perfect person i've heard about. You know, everyone looks up to someone. Some people look up to their parents as their life models. Others look to teachers, senior people or friends. But people do make mistakes and more often than not, human models do easily fall off the pedestal. So i choose Jesus as my model. My Teacher and my Father, because He never fails me, He keeps His promises, He never gets impatient or unkind, He's never anything less than perfect in wisdom and character. (to be continued..)

2005-11-06T00:11:00.000+08:00

is it juz me or is my blogging community saturating?

Contentment

2005-10-18T16:47:00.000+08:00

I just realised that I am not found wanting in anything. I feel very happy that I am happy and I am glad that I am glad.

Well, i feel there are some factors that lead to my happiness.

I try to do things to make God happy
I have no major crisis to face.
I try do things that will make everyone happy

so hence I am happy.

I realised all these three factors will make me happy, because when God is happy with me, He'll bless me with things that will make me happy. Also, because there is no problem too big that will make me unhappy. Period. Plus, when i try to do things that makes everyone happy, everyone's happy. When everyone's happy, I am happy. There you go..

Since I am so happy with myself, there should not be anything to be sad about. These few days, I start to have a feeling quite peculiar. A feeling that I never was so acutely aware of before. I think they call it, empathy. I got so particularly sad when i see people upset about results that i feel like crying. My heart has this heavy feeling when i think someone is feeling hurt. I also feel totally happy when I see people happy, but being already happy myself it's quite hard to be more happy than I already am.

Life for me, being so smooth and nice, gives me a warning. As a saying goes, life on this earth for God's people is never smooth, for this world is not a place where we belong. So i have to reflect on whether the devil has gotten any hold on me. For if he already has my heart in his hands, he would not need to come on soo strongly to shake me from my path towards heaven. Consequently, life will seems nice and happy for me. On the other hand, it may be that God being so powerful and caring toward his children is currently blessing me with full force. That's why i can feel so happy about everything. heehee... I think it's the second one..

anyway, i'd better go now... there's revival meetings every night at balestier this week. Take care everyone!

i'm back!

2005-10-12T17:45:00.000+08:00

I have to give three cheers to those people who still visit my blog man.. you can see them on my tag board.. haha.. honestly, nowadays i've hardly had time to come to a contemplative mode suitable for blogging periods.. life's been so busy wif life.. church, club, school, friends and everything..

Before you judge, i have to justify. I feel blogging is secondary compared to spending time with people.. so there you have it, blogging is rather low ranking on my to-do list... but hell, why did i set up a blog for then? So whenever you see a post, means Karen's quite free today.

Well, i feel a blog has a great ability to influence people and the way they feel about you. I also has a way of influencing the way readers view others and issues. Juz like a newspaper, but more tabloid and less accountability.that's why you have to watch what you say... oh well, but you know some people just don't bother about that..

hmm... derrick hoi's gonna teach on philosopy next year for GP.. it'll be fun! honestly, School's smashing nowadays.. i love it!

hmm.. i juz ran out of things to say, which happens rarely.. but i'll so distracted by all the popping screens and blinking colours on the screen i find it hard to concentrate blogging... don't you all have this problem too? I miss my frens, nvm.. it's time to catch up, now that exams are over!!! hehehe... Let's party!

Ps. actually i dun understand why people would bother to read my mindless chatter.. I think i'll have to improve the quality of my post la.

Kneee-oHhh-print!

2005-09-08T12:17:00.000+08:00

Nowadays taking neoprints are so fun! Yesterday after the guitar club lunch gathering, Jia Ying, cherie, Ben, jia hong and I went to heeren to "Pai Neo Print"! THe JApanese Character Options totaly stunned us! Before we know it, there were cute jap figurines dancing around the screen to a funky Jap song (like MTV) and at appropriaet intervals of the song, the screen shows "3-2-1 chicheeek!" and our totally bemused and stunned faces were caught!

More amazingly, after every picture, the machine will automatically throw down a different background colour. Poor ben, who's standing at the back has become victim of the declining background sheet. He was caught on camera peeping from under the background sheet. It was hilarious but accidents do happen and we didn't manage to choose that picture to be printed in time.. (lifetime regret!)

Anyways, if you wanna know more about the Smashing Guitar CLub out we had, Navigate to www.cjcguitar.blogspot.com and go to the various links there. I'm sure everyone would have their own version of the outing.. (Winks!)

2005-09-08T12:16:00.000+08:00

Guitar Club's Gorgeous

EXAMS: is it really such a scary thing?

2005-09-06T11:58:00.000+08:00

I think the exam stress is getting on everyone's nerves... the pressure is making people more impatient, less courteous, more irritable, less thoughtful, more insecure and less compromising.

Is exams really a good thing? The instinctive answers would be a long and wailing " NOOOOOOOOOOOO!" but to come and think of it.. the sense of urgency and accountablilty for your actions forces and moulds each and everyone of us to become responsible, disciplined and thinking individuals. Without exams or the right parental guidence, we all would become lazy and slothful people creating a sluggish society. How horrid to be in such a place!

Moreover, working hard for something and getting result would not only give us a sense of achievement, it will also help us to be more confident and bold individuals. This sense of well-being is something education blesses the educated with. If you're a full-time student, what else should we be doing other then to study and learn?

opps! Time for lunch!

2005-09-02T18:23:00.000+08:00

50 BUCKS from Brother Paul!!! (P.S can you believe it? Mr Wee wee chao took this photo!!)

Get a Life

2005-08-29T19:58:00.000+08:00

Well, i'm bored k... and easily irritated now..

i realised i should personalise m blog.

Karen
17 years old
Dislikes: Boastful people, Mean people and Arrogant people
Likes: Caring people, Thoughtful people and Considerate people
Fave colour: Pink
Hobby for the past Month : Candle making, Cardmaking and Baking.
Irritated by : Rude interruptions, Insensitive remarks and Incessant "Houlianing"
Pleased at: Witty jokes, Sweet thoughts and sincere encouragement

Hmm... gotta go back to work. see ya!~!

Somehow

2005-08-13T22:23:00.000+08:00

Somehow

i wanna quickly grow up..
at least till my As are over.
till my heavy responsibilities have been a yesterday.

I long for the freedom i used to have.
The freedom of time.
The freedom of actions.

To go a little wild, perhaps.
With a life emcompassing friends and fun.
oh how i need a time like that,
a time to unleash myself.

Yes, i'm still happy now.
maybe a little more sober and solemn.
A teeny more serious and wise (i hope)

But i look back at my childhood play.
I sure wish i can have them again.

NDP performance

2005-08-09T17:46:00.000+08:00

It was amazing... Our Guitar Club actually won third placing for "jazz up Singapore"! We invested little time, but i'd say much effort. It was a miracle and also a blessing from God. =P i remember the night before i was reading the "Desire of Ages" and it was about having the courage and high aim that is to bring glory to God. Honestly, i was totally inspired by these words and i decided that whatever the outcome of the performance may be, i'll give the glory to God. I was really quite determined when i was at it. However, the next day, after the emotion high of receiving $50 and cute pink slippers for prizes. i totally forgot about my promised to God.

Sigh.

Quite disappointing. okay, so now, here i'll like to tell everyone " mou2 shi4 zai4 ren2, chen2 shi4 zai4 tian1". (translation: Men may prepare for success, but accomplishment of the success lies in God's hands)

I guess guitar club has been taking the right attitude and God has decided to give us this award.

Honestly,
Thank God.

2005-07-12T20:06:00.000+08:00

My Family @ Brother's Musical

What Kind of Person are YOU?

2005-06-17T21:21:00.000+08:00

There are two kinds of people on earth today;
Just two kinds of people, no more, I say.

Not the sinner and saint, for it��s well understood,
That the good are half-bad and the had half-good.

Not the rich and the poor, for to rate a man��s wealth,
You must first know the state of his conscience and health.

Not the humble and proud, for in life��s little span,
Who puts on vain airs, is not counted a man.

Not the happy and sad, for the swift flying years
Bring each man his laughter and each man his tears.

No; the two kinds of people on earth I mean,
Are the people who lift, and the people who lean.

Wherever you go, you will find the earth��s masses,
Are always divided in just these two classes.

And oddly enough, you will find too, I ween,
There��s only one lifter to twenty who lean.

In which class are you? Are you easing the load,
Of overtaxed lifters, who toil down the road?
Or are you a leaner, who lets others share
Your portion of labor, and worry and care?

-Ella Wheeler -

��I expect to pass through this world but once. Any good therefore that I can do, or any kindness that I can show to any fellow creature, let me do it now. Let me not defer or neglect it, for I shall not pass this way again.��

Being a witness for Jesus

2005-06-14T14:38:00.000+08:00

Since my childhood days, I've always thought that witnessing for Jesus means talking to people about God's immense love for him and how Jesus gave up His life for him. During an altar call at the Asian Youth Camp, I decided very seriously that I will give my life and purpose all to the service of God and the furtherance of His purpose. With great internal struggle, I stood before the Lord, pleading with Him to show me His will and purpose for me.

My heart was open and searching since that fateful day. In my mind, witnessing was inviting friends to church, organizing programs in church that are focused on outreach or having outings with church friends that can create opportunities to share the gospel. That has been the methods many churches use to evangelism. However, in my church these methods hardly have any effect on the non-Christians. Invited friends come and go, people hardly come back after attending our outings and also we've yet to organise any outreach programs. So seriously, at that time, I didn't know how to witness. Every method I know of doesn't seem to work. I'm not very influential, I can't really spiritually influence people the way some people can. Neither do I have great moving testimonies to tell that can ignite passion for God in others. I seriously felt really quite lost. I wanted give myself to God totally for His purpose alone but I didn't know how or where to begin.

That night, this lovely two girls came to look for me, Theresa and Wei ting. They said they're looking for people to talk to. Not to long later, we had a group of Eight of us gathered together. Ming sheng, Wei ting, Theresa, Me, Jireh, Linus, One of the Students from Sanyu and Thomas. I think, perhaps, they too had some unexplainable feeling. There at the meet, I asked everyone what they intend to do to help "bring the message to all the world". No one had any plans. Neither did I. Then, Linus said "I think what everyone can do is improve themselves. Maybe start by doing your quiet time every night.". At that time, I was very blind. I felt that we should do more than that. Little did I realise that God was actually speaking to me through Linus then.

Yesterday, I told my Best Friend, Constance, about my experience, she was really silent. In my mind I was wondering "what is she thinking?" but right at the end of our phone call, she said "i think how you can witness for God is how you act whether or not people are looking at you" She told me that being a christian is being little mirrors for Jesus, reflecting his character and his love.

This afternoon, i was telling my dad about the struggle i faced when met with the altar call at the camp and i drew parallels of my struggle to that of the rich young ruler i read about last night during my quiet time in the Desire of Ages (page 518) . The Rich young ruler had been a faithful servant of God and have been sincerely keeping the Ten commandments but he had an idol in his heart and that is his riches and possessions. He did not view what he has as God-given gifts but rather something gained through his own effort and thus have taken great pride and ownership of the things he owned. When asked to sell all that he has and follow God, he found it very difficult because the purpose of his life is no longer just to serve God but also to serve himself. Similarly for me, when the preacher asked "Youth~! will you run the race for God? Even if it may mean a 180 degree turn in your education?... " I was very reluctant to give up what i have achieved so far in my education. I was super reluctant to run the race for God? My pursuit for education has become my idol. What i have attained so far i view it not as a blessing from God but more of something due to my own hardwork and perserverance. When met at that point of contendion, i realised that i haven't been dying to self and living for Christ. I realised that each time i prayed to God before my exams saying, "dear God, Please help me in my exams but still let your will be done and not my own."I was being a hypocrit because in my heart i am still secretly hoping not for his will to be done but for him to help me to do well. I cherished this pursuit and it has hindered me from totally giving myself to God for His purpose. I found it really hard to give it up. Until i asked ting ting, "It means giving up EVERYTHING for God leh... " and she said "i don't mind lorhz..."She's willing to give up everything for God. Why am i hesitating? How many times have i prayed for God to use me as His instrument and yet now i delay? Why am i choosing worldly greatness over heavenly treasure? Everything clicked at that moment and i said "Yes, Jesus you're worth it. "

On a lighter note, I was telling my daddy about what i learnt at the camp with regards to why we are discouraged from watching movies and listening to unwholesome music. This is what i told him, " Our brain can be separated into two parts. The frontal brain (The Consious) and the back of our brain (The Sub-consious). The frontal brain contains our conscience, judgement and reasoning. The back of our brain contains our appetite and passion which is also our human tendency. Our sub-consious mind remembers and absorbs everything we experience with our five senses whether we like it or not. Our consious mind thinks and makes everyday decisions. If we are to expose ourselves to negative influences, ideas, images or even emotions. Our sub-conscious mind which is our emotional drive, appetite and passions becomes stronger and stronger and it makes it harder and harder for your conscious mind to overcome the sub-conscious. Thus, it makes it harder for us to make the right decisions. If we are to keep exposing ourselves to the positive influence of scriptures and abide by phil 4:8, our carnal nature will be more tame and thus makes it harder for Satan to sway you away from the righteous path." After i'm done, my daddy asked me if they also gave scientific evidence to prove this. I told him that the evidence is understand how the brain works and how things can affect us. Then he said, "If you go to church and tell the youths what you just told me, they will look at what kind of person you are before deciding whether or not to believe you. Say in future, you grow up to be a respectable person and when people look at you, they say ' Karen is a good person'. Then you tell them what you just told me, they will believe you." There and then i realised what my Father was saying. Only when you are someone that people respect, will your words hold weight to them. Only after you have gained someone's respect through the way you act and live your life can you influence that person.

What i viewed as not enough at the start, was actually the basis and foundation for witnessing. God has used these three people to help me understand one great principle.

Linus started by saying that we should start by improving ourselves. Then, i didn't really understand why.
Constance continued by saying that we can witness by being Little mirrors of Jesus. Then, i sort of understand.
Daddy showed me the importance of reflecting the character and life of Jesus; of being an upright and obedient servant of God. Then, i finally understood.

When we reached my house's void deck, my dad gave me a hug and a kiss. Just before i closed the door of the car, he said
" Karen, if you want to be a witness for Jesus, you have to equip yourself."

That sentence hit me like a brick. Friends, you open your ears to hear carefully, you can hear God talking to you all the time!

God is a patient God. God is a living God. God is the Lord of all!!!

Praise the Lord!!!

Do verses suddenly just pop into your head?

2005-05-28T23:06:00.000+08:00

Recently the two bible verse that i feel have made much impact on me with my daily life is
"seek ye first the kingdom of God and it's righteousness and all these things shall be added unto you" and "Ask and it shall be given, seek and ye shall find, Knock and the door shall be open unto you". These are two verses that are so really common and perhaps have become cliche. But only during the last week i realised the significance of it in life.

In the attention seeking, love-deprived and materialistic world we live in, often we find many depressed, desperate and lonely people out there; everywhere. It is easy to fall into these catorgories or unconsciously fall into these ranks should we take less care.

I was perhaps at the edge of this fly-trap and the first verse popped into my head. Just like "poof!" and i am reminded to keep my focus on my heavenly Father and am given the assurance that anything on this earth, anything i could ever want God can give and will give it in due time. If i were to put Him first in my life and keep my motives right. The void, the feeling to be in want is suddenly filled up. Suddenly, i feel so confident of myself with such a powerful person on my side. ahh... I love this feeling.

You know, it's hard being a teenager. Am very sure my friends out there can relate to this. Emotions often run high or run dry. Well, i forgot how this second verse popped in. But it did on a sabbath evening. ya like yesterday, i didn't even this it popped in when i was needing it actually at that time, but i was thinking about it in my shower while i was screaming "refiner's fire". It feels so nice suddenly to know that there is someone that will give you what you seek, ask and knock for. Often times in daily lives, we look for approval, acceptance and ecouragement but are then vulnerable to rejection, contempt or indifference. It can be really hurting and can make you feel so sad. However, Jesus tells us that he will always answer, he will always give and he will never ignore you. Ever. In his omnipotent life. Isn't that just so nice? I feel he must be the nicest person that has ever existed to promise such a thing. You know, if you were to feel dejected or unaccepted, you can hold your chin up high again and say "Hmph! it's alright, i don't need you! i have the Big Guy up there to be there for me!" And i'm sure you have and surely He will help you and love you with all He has! Imagine someone who loves you with everything. Wouldn't you feel just so great? I do and am!

Tiny thoughts

2005-05-27T21:58:00.000+08:00

I need some place where my opinion will make a difference and perhaps make things better. Maybe considered.
i need some place where pple are willing to try new things.
Where pple are enthusiastic.
Where pple like turning up.
Where pple like being with each other and helping each other.
Where pple actually care and care to show it.
Where we can make each other's life more interesting and beautiful..

Oh where..
somewhere out there..
I guess.

Hmm, ever wondered...

2005-05-14T00:05:00.000+08:00

Well, hie i'm back again..
Hey you know, ever wondered if our money can become so "BIG" that we can buy chicken rice with 10 cents? (not the chicken rice your mom cooks la). That's how cool... then we onli need to bring like a dollar coin to orchard for your meals. 15 otah for ten cent? one for one cent each? Or when we change currency, it'll be like 50 Sing dollars for like 500 ringget?

Coz since the Intergrated Resort is going to be set up, Singapore's going to become a really cool and rich country. So there's a possibility that our money can get "BIG" to that extreme.

I dunno, perhaps some rule in economics goes against my theory. Oh well, my imagination runs hysterically again.

i'm going to blog more frequently now

2005-05-05T15:51:00.000+08:00

Cos i FEEL like it.. haha.. well, it seems to me that i more of less is having lotsa fun in school and church and all... but having fun isn't all just that simple.. to truely enjoy yourself you've to know how to prioritise and manage your time properly so that you would be carried away in the moment so much that you forget many other important things.. like, walking around toa payoh with my dearie daddy or cooking maggi noodles for my irritating brother (even tho i wonder how i can forget that since he'll probably be pestering me about it. ) but well, you get the idea..

'cause if you move with the tide of fun before you know it the current would have swept you away too too quickly and you realise that you've been neglecting the details that makes everything all so special.. Real peace and happiness is doing things that you like to do and enjoying every moment of it at the same time WITHOUT neglecting your responsibilities.. so what am i saying? We have to balance Fun, play and enjoyment.

opps! We've to balance Fun, Our Family and Our duties.

Speaking about duties... i've tonnes of them now... all by the name of HOMEWORK!!!
Cheerios!

Being Adventist

2005-04-08T17:05:00.000+08:00

I found this website when i typed "M-A-C-D-O-N-A-L-D-L-I-S-A-T-I-O-N" for my GP research... I think it's quite interesting.. a born adventist set up this up.. his thought and views are there.. very reflective.. Go see.. http://www.papsda.co.nz/sermons/021207.htm

And like Icarus I collide...

2005-02-22T18:59:00.000+08:00

Well, Today was really quite a memorable day for me. (for numerous reasons)

I was back at a sport that used to be how I spent my afternoons in primary school. It was really quite simple really. My class were playing a game of netball and I as playing GS (goal shooter - not that I can really shoot. Anyway.) I think it must be my size or I seriously don't know what, I keep getting knocked over. nono. Maybe pushed over. Actually, RUN OVER by people. I has to be the fact that I'm playing GS or real bad luck, that I keep getting in the way of Larger creatures (my defenders). Well, picture this, a deer with the ball between its legs and an elephant charging for the ball. What do you think will happen next? Deer me, I ended up falling down soooo many times (how many? Count the number of "0"s) and got two abrasions on my left elbow and a scraped knee. I felt like a wounded animal... BUT this didn't get me down. The game was too exciting!! The Superbly Agile Hanxiang, Strong and Powerful Derek, Sturdy yet Fast Dennis and, brilliant and Dependable Alaric kept the ball coming. Not until...

WHAM!! Out of nowhere, what felt like a rhinoceros came crashing down upon me. I came down hard on the ground. The impact hit me like asteroid and I was totally stunned/shocked/paralyzed. I was so scared!!! Then, I didn't know why, I started crying like a baby!!! Thank goodness, I had my hands to protect my head and to cover my tear-stained face. Mr elephant and Mr Rhino was really apologetic after that, but I was still trembling from the aftershock and only managed a weak smile later on.

This experienced taught me much about life. The Netball game is life. As you are trying to reach your goals, there are some people along the way that will be there to help you achieve them while others are there to stop you. Those who are there to stop you, may even hurt you in the process of preventing you from reaching your goals. However, you should never let these people aka obstacles get you down. Although you may be wounded and hurting, you must always, always gather courage and move on. The people that are in your team have their own positions to play in the netball game (own reponsibilities in life), they cannot take your place neither can they stop you from getting hurt. However, this is not something to be sad about, because we are dependent on each other and we know we need each other (moral support). Moreover, failure and mistakes help us to learn and grow. The responsibility we have towards each other and to yourself keeps you going and the sense of satisfaction after reaping the toil of your own efforts cannot be paralleled.

I have to say this, oww... My butt hurts. I think I've two orr cheah on it.

Karen? yes that's me.

2005-02-17T21:56:00.000+08:00

well, i guess i should type something here... well, i've been busy wif school and the new envt and stuff lately that i hardly can breathe.. but things are getting settled down now. =P i just wish my days will be juz a little more fun filled... but well, it's quite hard to have many fun filled days when most of your time is organised by the school. Rarely anytime that i can waste doing things for pure leisure.

i wish, i juz wish tht i dun have chinese test tomorrow and that i can juz download all those squiggly lines into my brain and Ace the test tomorrow. OBVIOUSLY, i'm not in da matrix and can't do that. Moreover it's Ten now, i NEED to sleep now. To those who aren't in my immediately family, you would not know that if i sleep any later than Ten sharp i would have my energy level realli low da next da and have a perpetual headache that next day. that's totally unfair!!!

i think i juz ran out of things to say.
oh well, i think this is why i don't blog that often. *sigh*

Update on my life

2004-12-06T13:55:00.000+08:00

Okok, i knoe, i haven't blogged in like ages... well, i'm going ter start working tml as church clerk for the rest of my hols. amazing thing is, the timing totally suits my shedule, it's 9.00am to 12.30pm! mondays to friday. for $7.11111 per hour. talk about God's blessing, he realli knoes how to create opportunities fer me and i'm totally grateful to himm for that!

oh i juz have ter mention this, shannon, sat night i tot that that was the day you had da best hair day. wad did you do to your hair? did you go for treatment of something? heehees, didn't have da chance ter tell u then.

Man, onli after i skated again did i realise how much i missed ice skating! i had a whole lot of fun yesterday at jurong east wif a group of fun loving, peace keeping, relationship cherishing and most importantly, God loving people! I love you guys!!!

my hols have been fulfilling thus far, spent in seminars, lavalava island and in fellowship.These simple programmes have given me much chance to experience how much love i'm getting from the people around me. truely, i love my life and i thank God for it!

Jesus Big Jigsaw Puzzle

2004-11-13T18:02:00.000+08:00

Every puzzle that is pieced together starts from a single piece.

As you try to fix it together,

no matter whether your puzzle is simple

or made up of million pieces,
Any piece that you pick up will meet some misfits.
But do not be disheartened

'cause you know in your heart that the creator

of this puzzle has planned it such that every piece fits somewhere.

No matter how unique or queer that piece of the puzzle might seem,

if you look at it alone,

you know deep down that that piece you hold in your hand,

is part of a very big and beautiful picture

that only it's maker can imagine.

Only when the puzzle is complete, can you see the importance of every piece,

and how every piece makes a difference.

Keep strong!

You BRATZ each and everyone of you is a piece in the big jigsaw puzzle of God.

Make an effort to cherish your fellowe brothers and sisters in christ.
Every single one of you matters.

Every single one of you is loved.

A puzzle can only be beautiful if it's complete.

Poem

2004-11-07T09:47:00.000+08:00

A year older you are,

but i think just as far.

Our thinking on par.

An understanding we've barred

away from prying eyes

and from much vice we survive.

Keeping ourselves from falling

into the deep trap of adolescent love,

we achieve a support and fearlessness

of life's overwhelming challenges,

Full of temptations and deceptions,

by searching into each other's eyes,

to find that shinning light

to tell us we did right

or that we're fingering life's dice.

I know that you line is always open in the night,

to help me through the blight,

to make the wrongs right.

But I know I only have to search inside,

to find that fight

and woman's might

that i have in me.

I just need someone to show me.

Someone to set me free...

Da Riight Attitude

2004-10-15T21:01:00.000+08:00

Juz a Few Phrases for those preparing for their Os. You can do It People!!!

A dream without a positive attitude produces a daydreamer.
A positive attitude without a dream produces a pleasant person who can��t progress.
A dream together with a positive attitude produces a person with unlimited possibilities and potential.

Never EVER put yourself down.

The Corner Eye

2004-10-01T19:25:00.000+08:00

Remember the Famous line, "when you point a finger at someone, there's actually three other fingers pointing back at you"? Well, here's a striking bible text that actually tells us that.

Romans 2:1-3
"You, therefore, have no excuse, you who pass judgement on someone else, for
at whatever point you judge the other, you are condemning yourself, because you who pass judgement do the same things. Now we know that God's judgement against those who do such things is based on truth. So when you a mere man, pass judgement on them yet do the same things, do you think you will escape
God's judgement?"

Sobering... What do you mean by passing judgement?

Meet God again for the first time (Jon Paulien):
"When i declare, 'You shouldn't have done that,' what am i saying? That what you are doing is not right for you. I am PASSING JUDGEMENT on your actions. But if i think it's not right for you, then it's not right for me either. Deep down inside I hold myself accountable to the same rules I point out to others."

Hmm, after reading all these I feel so inspired at a greater living and better character. At the same time, i feel chastised. I have to admit sometimes i do stumble and fall, but i guess each time i fall, Jesus will pick me up and stick handiplast on my wounds. So it's not that bad after all, but i still have limp till the wound is healed and then i try hard not to fall again. =)

Lovey Dovey

2004-09-11T21:31:00.000+08:00

I can't help but think that the guy planned his speech when the girl was asking the questions...

A girl asked a guy if he thought she was pretty, he said...no.
She asked him if he would want to be with her forever....and he said no.
She then asked him if she were to leave would he cry, and once again he replied with a no.
She had heard enough.
As she walked away, tears streaming down her face the boy grabbed her arm and said....
You're not pretty you're beautiful.
I dont want to be with you forever. I NEED to be with you forever.
And I wouldnt cry if you walked away...I'd die...

Unpredictablity in guys can really sweep a girl off her feet.

I can just imagine the girl in the guys arms crying tears of joy. =P

There's nothing more important than God. There nothing as important as Family. There's nothing better than friends.

2004-08-29T21:34:00.000+08:00

Hie everyone! i have to tell all of you how great my Brother is.

I just came back from a Super fun excursion to the Science Centre on Friday. There learnt a great deal about Genetic engineering and we created our very own Glow-in-the-dark Bacteria!! Just tell me how cool is that?! (say: WAY COOL!!)

Over dinner, my brother asked me about school and i started going on and on about the excursion. (If you know Karen, she will blather on about stuff when she's excited. ) So i told him, "Oh! we made bacteria glow in the dark and i spoke to the lecturer and she told me about her job and what she studies to become what she is now and it was so fun you know? after that we ran about and science centre and crawled under stuff and over stuff in the science centre playground. *sucks in a deep breath of sir* yep!" He then smile at me in that loving manner, and asked me "so what are the different types of genetic engineering?" and i was like "err..." haha... i couldn't answer him.

So he said, "ookay, first you tell me generally what genetic engineering is about, then you zero in on one topic and expand what you have to say from there." ooOkay.. so i tried, "Okay, today i went to the science centre for an excursion. We learnt about the Structure of a DNA, the history of how DNA was discovered, how to perform a genetic engineering experiment and the successes of genetic engineering..." From there, i told him to every single detail about what i learnt and in fact it was so detailed, i guess he would have known how to conduct the experiment if he went to the Lab by himself.

He was so amazed and he told me that he "never knew all these" and he thanked me for telling him all these. After that, he told my parents that he never knew so much about genetic engineering before i had told him and that what i said benefitted him alot.

Wow. He makes me feel so important and so appreciated. It makes me feel that whatever i said matters alot to him and that it had made a difference to him. I makes mi feel that he cares for every single detail of my life (he never once looked bored when i spoke.)It surely boosted my confidence in myself about 100 times more and i feel soooo loved!

Oh Darling my favourite Brother! I LOVE YOU! You're my shinning example!!! *Muacks*

S8813285H

2004-08-21T20:28:00.001+08:00

erms, dearest Blog... i'm having a identity crisis now... perhaps it comes with growing up... but i'm not too sure of it... what am i doing all the things i do for? *head whirls* Many things have become routine i guess... where's the passion? is studying on and on draining my life away? but i have to study... i hope get this period over... even studying i need some passion!!! Everyone!!! movtivate me!!!! i feel dead beat.. ... ... .. ... ... ... ... ... ... ... maybe i'm juz tired... juz came back from macritchi (shannon said i spell macritchi wrongly) and too tired so no mood fer anything at all... let mi try writing something...

Karen is a average sixteen year old
She has alot of energy but is often thought overenthusiastic
Cold water has been so often poured on her fire
Yet it takes only a spark to her her fire up again
but very soon water is poured on her again.
Oh it feels cold, oh so cold.

Karen is an origami paper waiting to be folded
you can either crush it or make it oh so magically beautiful
yet it's so frail all that is on the earth
paper tear, smiles quickly dissapear, flowers loses its colour
yet the only thing that ever lasts here is relationships
why do you pursue anything other that that?
but if you have all but one relationship,
all will go to waste anyway.

I love you Daddy.
I love you Mummy.
I love you Kor Kor.
I love you Constance.
I love you Michelle.
I love you Grandma.

Some of you i see daily, some i don't. but you are the people that i think about and will miss all the time, alwayz...

You people have given me sooo much and made me the people i am today. Yes Constance and Michelle, you too...

I wouldn't be this blessed if God hadn't allow all of you to walk into my life. You are here to stay!

Sexay babes

2004-08-13T22:29:00.000+08:00

Melody~! Let's look Gorgeous together!

What's so great about God anyway?

2004-08-07T20:22:00.000+08:00

Today i went for this motivational talk about giving your life totally to the service to God and balancing studies and God. The speaker was very practical and many of the things he said touched my heart truely deep. i didn't cry, but it set me thinking...

Since the time i gave my life to Christ i have been experience real learning and real communion with him. i learnt alot of life skills by day to day experiences and praying. it got real close to God at the same time.

however today, i saw one of a irregular born SDA in our church. She isn't much older than i am and she's doing mighty fine without a relationship with God. I asked her what time she came for service and the time she told me was about the time service ends.hmm... i was wondering why she came. she brought her bf too but barely stays in church for long. she asked my own youth which is already half a foot out whether he wanted to go to this club first then the other. aahhmmm... i was wondering if she likes church or club better. 'cause these two things seem the opposite contrast to each other...

i imagine myself in the club dancing singing laughing talking... all pretty and so full of myself. That doesn't seem to bad... if God hasn't touched my life through major influences in my early years, that's what i'll be doing. however i wonder, if ever i immersed myself in that kind of life, will i ever get out. would i ever find God? would i even what to find God? if i grew and entered into that kind of community, would church life and God appeal to me at all? perhaps i would be thinking to myself then, that i'll party my nights and youth away until i am all dried out i can find some peaceful years in the church.

When i ask the irregular born SDA to go for the Dr chew's talk, the impression that she gave me was
"Why would i want to use up precious time going for boring talks, talking to people about alien values that i can't apply and with which i don't see the need to apply"

i guess if i was in her shoes i will be thinking the same way... i guess...

If then the whole world is like that, will there onli be elderlys in the church at the end? after they have spent their youth away on personal pleasures they come back to the father? (like the prodigal son?) God will still accept them then anyway right? Tat's a promise from God...

Does that mean that all no matter how hard we try to bring back all the lost young sheeps we can never be victorious? i mean, what is it in a church that will give them a desire for God?

True friendship? Love? I dunnoes... sometimes we don't even see these two elements in church much anymore.

Tell you a secret... Love is what converted me.

Where has me gone to?

2004-07-04T21:51:00.000+08:00

Today my tuition at Karyne's house ended early and so I had a lot of time in my hands. I decided to visit my brother at Starbucks since it's near my next tuition place and I wanted to see if people are treating him nice and how's his workplace like.

Before I reached the MRT, I tried calling him but he didn't pick his phone up so I just headed there.

It was then I realised I have changed.

When I got there, I pushed the door open and I glance around. He's there. My heart jumped. I was soo worried that he would not be there and I was rather tired after the long walk to Orchard Parade. Before I reached, I was soo excited to see my Kor Kor but at the same time at the back of my mind I was pushing away the thought of the disappointment I will have if he isn't there. I was walking so much faster then usual and trying not to think about anything at all.

So much so that when I got there, I did not even show a hint of the vast happiness I was feeling inside before that because I was going to visit him and, furthermore, at that time I was feeling more relieved then anything else.

I have realised two things. I realised that as I look upon my brother I was afraid that I would embarrass him infront of his colleagues. I realised how self conscious I have becomed. I realised that I've have changed quite a lot without my knowledge and I don't really think it's for the better.

You may think it's natural (or perhaps not) for me to feel unnatural in a new place, but only just, I thought of how I would have acted at that time if I was my old self. I would have skipped my way to Orchard parade admiring the tall buildings and basking in the sunrays. I would have broken into a run when I caught sight of the "starbucks" sign. I would have creeped up at the sight to see if my brother was there, and if he is I would pushed the doors open and yelled "Surprise!!!" (I'm not exxarating) and I would have bullied my brother into buying me a drink and serving me. Pulling him out at breaktime and bringing him somewhere to eat lunch even if he had 30 mins of break and have to run back to work. BUT all that I did not do. Afraid that he might get angry, I appeared aloof and quiet. Asked formal questions. Spoke so discreetly. So unlike me. I hated what I have become.

NO! I will not allow myself to keep on being held back by my fears!

I feel so leashed! From tomorrow on, I will overcome this and regain my childhood innocence and boldness.

Let this be my prayer, "O God, please help me to keep the values and characteristic that is pleasing to you and discard my bad habits and fears, So that I can live my life as you willed and be the happy person you made me to be. Dear Lord, please give me wisdom so that I may know my weaknesses and grow stronger as a child of God. Give me strength that I may be able to overcome all temptations and avoid all behaviour and situations that will bring me away from you. Thank you Jesus for being so kind and merciful to me, for always giving me second and second and second chances. Jesus I want to be forever yours! To the Lord that gives all Confidence, Hope and Love, I pray in Jesus' Name, Amen!"

As a full time student, studying is my responsibility. I have a commitment to it and I am accountable for it.

2004-06-29T16:29:00.000+08:00

Dear Diary

I'm supposed to be studying my chemistry right now but i'm not. I guess i've been neglecting you and alot of my friends lately. i feel quite bad and rather sorry for myself. That i have to stay at home all day to do my work. but then again, it is actually my on my own choice that i am at home. who can keep me in? I'm wondering to myself, "why am i keeping myself in to study when i just wallow my mind in self pity?"
i should just go out shopping if i want to right? why keep thinking about going out if i have decided to keep myself in and stardee? okaes, i will go and study now, and i will focus my attention on my work and my work only.

Thanks fer listening ter my one sided conversation most beloved diary. =)

Love
Karen